Hold Your Nose When You Do It

Those helpful folks at the StarPhoenix are launching an informative new online restaurant guide. They are asking for your help for a readers' choice category on favourite places to eat. I’ve decided to post, for my loyal readers, my submission to the survey. Bon appetit!

Do... I... have... to... eat... this?

1. What is your favourite overall restaurant in Saskatoon?
Does going back to complain about getting food poisoning count as a return visit?

2. Why is it your favourite restaurant?
Oh, that’s easy. McDonald’s. Because the food is prepared a continent away.

3. What is your favourite sports bar in Saskatoon?
Well, I’d say there are plenty of good sports to see at any bar in Stoon. Go to any place during a Rider game and you can see brawling, vomiting, face-planting, public urinating, beer shotgunning, and countless other competitive sports in SK.

4. What is your favourite lounge in Saskatoon?
I used to like to lounge in this one place after eating out in Saskatoon. They had a stomach pump and “ER” on the door. It was really clean (a nice change) with very comfortable couches—highly recommended!

5. What is your favourite restaurant deck in Saskatoon?
Any, but only in August. Otherwise you run the risk of hypothermia before your first drink arrives.

6. What is your favourite pizza place in Saskatoon?
Well, I once knew this funny guy with raging hormones in grade 9 who… oh wait! You said PLACE.

7. What is your favourite fast food place in Saskatoon?
Fast food in Saskatoon? By this do you mean your food arrives in under 20 minutes? LOL! Good one!

8. What is your "Guilty Pleasure" food item at any restaurant in Saskatoon?
I’m not sure about the “pleasure” part, but I certainly feel guilty after eating out in Saskatoon. Ask my plumber.

9. Which restaurant is your "Guilty Pleasure" food item from?
Your honour, I'd prefer to plead not guilty.

Is “Visit Saskatchewan” on Your Bucket List?

OWW! Does my neck ever hurt. It’s from the double take I did when I read a headline from the Regina Leader this week.:
“Aussie travels to Regina to strike No. 23 from bucket list.

An Australian, Sebastain Terry, apparently visited Saskatchewan to complete an item on his bucket list. I think I speak for all of civilized Canada when my response to reading that was, “Bucket list? Saskatchewan? SAY WHA?!?!”

When I read further, it began to make sense. He didn’t have “visit Hell” on his bucket list but rather, had put down “deliver a baby” on it. He happened to be able to do this in Regina, which is why he came to the city. Personally, I’d rather leave the delicate task of delivering a child to a trained doctor, but clearly not everyone in Sask thinks the same. Maybe they thought he was a doctor. He does, after all have a funny accent, just like Dr. House has (in real life).

It’s amazing so how little goes on in SK, that the local paper reports on this kind of triviality. This guy clearly is looking simply for media attention, less so to experience the gift of life. I mean, look at the shirt he made up and is wearing. It reminds me a bit of the guy who traded a paper clip several times and eventually traded up to a house in Saskatchewan. Personally, that story was interesting enough to deserve a headline. I guess the main news item from both stories is that people would want to come to Saskatchewan. An extraordinary factor clearly must be involved. Now that’s news.

Unfortunately, visiting SK is not on my bucket list. If it was, it’d be somewhere between become a John Tesh concert roadie and play leap frog with a grizzly bear.

Please Pass the Fantuz Flakes

I'll admit, Andy Fantuz is a pretty good football player. I actually like him, even though he plays for the wretched Riders. Do I like him enough to eat his flakes? Ummmmm….. I think I’ll leave the honour of doing that to the crazy fans known as the Rider Nation. They love them and apparently can't get enough of those scrump-diddilyicious Fantuz Flakes. They're sold right out of them!

"Hi, would you like to taste my Flakes?"

What the hell is a Fantuz Flake anyway? Did the janitor who cleans the Rider locker room find them in the shower and say, "Hey, I can make some money off this!" Actually, never mind. I really don’t want to know.

So what tasty treats can we expect next from team that can't count to twelve? Durant Drops? Lucas Lumps? Clermont Crisps? Bagg Bags?

And the award goes to...

May I have a drum roll please.

What is the most crime ridden province in Canada? Who rocks the Crime Severity Index like no one else? Who takes both first and second place with the highest violent crime rates in Canada? Who claimed the same top honours last year?

Saskatchewan, baby. That's who!

It's pretty ironic actually, as there is quite a bit of rivalry between the two cities. People in Saskaton think their city is so much better than Regina, and vice versa. I never really understood the whole competitive city thing, or what evidence it was based on. I've been in both places and trust me, neither are much to brag about. Until now, that is.... GO REGINA, GO!


Regina, Saskatoon crime rates fall, but still highest

The crime rate in Saskatoon fell in 2009, but the city remained at the No. 2 spot — second only to Regina — on Statistics Canada’s measurement of crime severity across the country.

We’ve managed to see another decrease this year in both violent and non-violent crime, certainly not the kind of drops we’ve seen in the last couple of years the report’s been published, but a decrease nonetheless,” said Saskatoon Police Service spokesperson Alyson Edwards. “We realize there’s more work to be done in Saskatoon.”

FULL STORY

PS: if you feel a bit of deja vu it is because I blogged about this same award two years ago! Then again, nothing ever changes in SK. Keep on tryin' Abbottsford!

SASKATCHEWAN NEWS FLASH

In other parts of the world, the news headline of the day might focus on the gulf oil leak, flooding killing hundreds in China, Mel Gibson freaking out on tape, or Lindsay Lohan going to jail.


But not in Saskatchewan. There, other things are important enough to people to make the front page. Thank the Saskatoon Star Phoenix.




PS: what is with the generic coffee cup? Could they not find a Timmies cup for the photo? It's not like they can't be found lying in any street in Stoon. *sign*

Pissing Away more Potential Tax Revenue

If it wasn’t for Canwest global news media, I would never know what was going on in Saskatchewan – and thankfully so. So I curse the media when I see Saskatchewan-related news items pop up on the website for my local newspaper. Like a car crash, I can’t help but look. Such was the case today when I came across a story chronicling the latest chapter in the long sad story that is Saskatoon’s pet laws.

Some context:
In case you don’t know, Saskatchewan loves tax as much as anchorman Ron Burgundy loves scotch.

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...

An example of this is the fact that Saskatoon is one of the few jurisdictions where one is taxed every year for having a cat or dog. You have to buy a licence for your pet and put a tag on it – or face big fines. Although the bylaw is almost never enforced (ask any cat owner if they buy a licence for Mr. Socks. Half will say no and the other half will stare at you blankly not knowing what you’re even talking about). The licensing really serves no purpose other than to grab tax money but more importantly, try to scare residents into containing their pets. If memory serves me correctly, fines are issued any time your dog or cat walks off your property and onto another’s. The only difference is that a licensed pet receives a smaller fine. Pets are apparently supposed to observe and abide by surveyor’s pins in Sask.

Some more context:
I have written elsewhere on this blog about Saskatoon’s dog feces problem. Even though it a finable offence, dog owners in SK apparently think that it is within their rights to let their dogs shit all over anything and everything. I used to know when spring had arrived in Saskatoon by the massive piles of dog shit that thawed out and lay exposed all over public parks and my yard. Believe me when I say it is better to step in frozen than fresh dog shit.

Here the [poop] scoop:
I got a chuckle out of the latest buffoonery from city hall. Apparently they have been debating whether to pass a bylaw outlawing dog urination on private property.

City council ultimately decided not to pass such a law. But not because dog piss isn’t damaging to property or that it's a problem in the city, but because enforcement of the law would be too difficult. LOL. How rich. This is the same city hall that enacted the pet licence law and the dog feces law, neither of which are enforceable or enforced. *face palm here*

I don’t know what’s more amazing: the inconsistency in which the city laws are made or the fact that Saskatoon passed on the opportunity to find a new way to collect tax from citizens. What a shit--I mean piss show.

Pay to Get Rough Ridden

It's been reported before: in Saskatchewan, politics and sports aren't just friendly pals, they boldly go hand in hand. So this news shouldn't come as any surprise: the Saskatchewan government announced today that they are issuing special Saskatchewan Roughrider license plates to commemorate their beloved provincial CFL football team. It wouldn't seem so illegal if the practice wasn’t the accepted norm in SK.

To anyone who has lived in the Rectangle of Regression, this cannot come as a surprise. The Roughriders are so openly-loved in Saskatchewan to the point that it's just plain awkward. Rider fans are known as the Rider Nation. They have Rider Pride. They like it rough. They fly colours. If one didn't know about this infamous CFL team, one might assume this is all part of some elaborate same-sex rights campaign. Well, it's not - at least as far as I know - but the motions are the same.

The commemorative plates come in several varieties. Be sure to ask for these specific ones when you visit SGI!

More SK License Plates

You know summer is coming when you start to see Saskatchewan license plates in BC. I don’t know what is more amazing – the fact that a Pontiac automobile made the journey all the way across the Rocky Mountains without blowing up, or the fact that the same people who never tip more than 10% for a meal will pay the extra fee to get personalized plates. More on this topic to come....

What a Watrousity

If you grew up in Saskatchewan you’re pretty likely to have been to Watrous at some point in your life – the home of Manitou Springs Hotel and Spa. This spa is a fixture in the province, located on the shore of a salt lake in the middle of nowhere. It consists of a series of indoor pools pumped full of heated lake water. The water is very high in salt content and therefore buoyant, so one can float around effortlessly on the surface much like in the Dead Sea. Manitou’s water contains minerals that is said to have special health-giving properties.

Like so many things in Saskatchewan, the unfortunate part is in the execution. Instead of this spa being a world class resort offering a luxury getaway, it is a run-down and shabby dump that has to be seen to be believed.

The hotel’s promotional picture:

Here's what it really looks like:

As you can see, the “healing waters” are the colour of urine. Worse, the pools are never cleaned so they have a coating of black muck on them, so much that one cannot see the bottom or sides of the pool. To top it all off, seniors seem to love to flock to the spa, so much that on any given day, you will find hoards of old people in swimsuits floating around motionless on their backs. It's actually a lot like that bathtub scene from the movie The Shining.

Saskatchewan's Dead Sea

Scary.

I went to Watrous in my younger years and my experiences there were not exactly like those one might get on a vacation, say, at Disneyland. I distinctly remember recoiling at the sight of the yellow water and the flotillas of senior-submarines creepily bobbing around like motionless cadavers. When I mustered the courage to actually go into the pool, I got a burning feeling all over my body from the water. It was truly gross.

Why am I mentioning all this now? This month, Saskatchewan health officials closed the facility down, citing health risks. Apparently the pool’s filtering system has not been functioning properly for years and management has repeatedly failed to fix the problem. Now visitors of the hotel are stuck in a town with nothing else to do. Perhaps even worse, seniors across the province have nowhere to do the deadman float. Don't worry though, no-one will complain. This is Saskatchewan, after all.

Now that Manitou spa is closed, as is the former garbage dump turned ski hill known as Blackstrap, where will vacationing Saskatchewaners go?

0 to 100 in a century, flat

Well, storms, floods, and locusts must be approaching, as I recently heard that Saskatoon is getting a Porsche dealership. The story says that it is a sign that the city is "growing up."

I’m not sure which is the funnier part about this story: 1) the fact that a city as big as Saskatoon doesn’t have a Porsche dealership yet, or 2) the fact that someone would suggest that the city is in fact “growing up.”

Maybe it’s the latter. Keep in mind that Saskatoon is a city over a hundred years old. This would mean that the city is about the slowest to develop in Canada. To use a metaphor, the city is akin to a full-grown adult who hates baths and still plays with Tonka trucks. Or, to be more precise, John Deere tractor toys.

No doubt, Saskatchewan is the most handy-capable province in Canada but I’m not going to dwell on that here. Nor am I going to debate the principle whether Saskatchewan should have a Porsche dealership at all (contrary to socialist doctrine).

Rather, I’m dedicating this post to celebrating the real automobile that symbolizes Saskatchewan: the Pontiac Sunfire. I don’t care if Porsches start rolling down 2nd Ave by the hundreds. No turbo 911 will ever displace the Sunfire as the official pace car of Saskatchewan. The province is Sunfire country, baby, and never forget it!

Enjoy the images below of these beauties, taken from the local used classifieds.

Buy it now and the owner will throw in a sweet 1990s colour splash

Sweet! The door works on this one.

Sunfires look best when you kneel down to look at them…. with your eyes closed that is.

Terrible colour – you’ll never find your car at a wheat field party.

Wash your car before selling it? Pah! Not in Saskatchewan! That might be precius potash dust.

The seats may be vinyl but the steering wheel is 100% genuine cowhide. The owner should know, he killed the cow himself

One of these two vehicles is still running. HINT: it doesnt rhyme with Sunfire.

For women in SK, driving a white Sunfire is akin to wearing white at a wedding. Purity.

Just like the car in Knight Rider – no human brain required to drive it.

Comes with subs – guaranteed to pump out Nickelback like no-one’s business.

He has the internet now

I must admit I have a new guilty pleasure that keeps me looking back to Saskatchewan, the place where they got the thematic inspiration for the movie, The Land Before Time.

I am speaking of Jim Pankiw’s new website. http://www.jimpankiw.ca/

You can see my earlier blog post below to get the low-down on this former MP representing Saskatchewan. This embattled warrior is back and he’s ready to fight the forces of racism against Whites. Yes, you read that correctly. Racism, against Whites.

I don’t think Mr. Pankiw really knows what racism means as he is best known for delivering inflammatory rants and public tirades against native people, and even for trying to pick a fight with a native lawyer at a bar while intoxicated. His actions got him ejected from the Conservative Party, spurned by the press, and eventually voted out of office. Looks like even those people in Humboldt have their limits.

It’s pretty clear that Pankiw has only one agenda or interest in politics and that is to cast aspersions against native people. In his eyes, they are treated with lavish favour and privilege. Clearly, he’s never driven through a reserve before.

Pankiw’s new website is a sight to behold. It features pictures of parliament and him in a gun-slinging stance, thumb in his waist, ready to kick ass. On the site you can read all about him, ask him questions, post on a forum, read hate mail he’s received, and even donate to his cause to get re-elected as an independent. It used to have an intro movie playing to the tune “Back in Black” by AC/DC but I see that is no longer. I guess Mr. Pankiw discovered what a copyright is after getting a call from a lawyer.

"Larger than Parliament" Pankiw (not actual size)

My personal favourite part of his website is a collection of quotes from his time in the House of Commons. He used to regularly ask questions about why the Canadian system is so baised against whites. Most entertaining are the responses he elicits from the ministers, much more than his questions. I’ve including some below for your entertainment.

In response to Pankiw’s question on:

The Public Service

Hon. Joe Jordan (Parliamentary Secretary to the President of the Treasury Board, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, a good question deserves a good answer. That was not a good question.

Hon. Denis Coderre (President of the Queen's Privy Council for Canada, Federal Interlocutor for Métis and Non-Status Indians, Minister responsible for la Francophonie and Minister responsible for the Office of Indian Residential Schools Resolution, Lib.): He should be ashamed of spouting such nonsense.

Official Languages

Hon. Reg Alcock (President of the Treasury Board and Minister responsible for the Canadian Wheat Board, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I often find the member's questions somewhat offensive and, frankly, this is no exception.

Aboriginal Affairs

Hon. Irwin Cotler (Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I reject the implication in the question about a racist two-tier sentencing scheme.

Hon. Andy Mitchell (Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, those comments are utter nonsense.

Hon. Irwin Cotler (Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, once again the hon. member proceeds by castigating aspersions of a racist character, and I will not answer those questions.

Hon. Robert Nault (Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, it is unfortunate and I can understand why even the Alliance does not want that member in its caucus.

On Fisheries:

Hon. Robert Thibault (Minister of Fisheries and Oceans, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I assume the member is an expert on racism because he speaks to it often.

Want more? You can read them all here:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, move to Saskatchewan

It’s safe to say that Saskatchewan was not ready for the housing boom that started a few years ago. Within the span of months, the provincial real estate market heated up as hordes of property speculators came in and bought up what seemed like bargain real estate prices compared to elsewhere. Of course, nearly all of these speculators were former Saskatchewaners themselves, people who had left the province in earlier decades to make small fortunes in Alberta and BC. It felt like in a Poltergeist movie when they all started coming home. “They’re baaaaaack!”

I remember how housing prices went up 60% in one year alone. My house went up in value by nearly $100,000. I said it then and I say it now: it made sense as people were paying more to live in the same place with no other discernible benefits. I still can’t decide whether the stranger thing at the time was the fact that prices could go up in SK or that people were voluntarily moving to the province.

This brings me to the topic of this post: rent controls. You see, the effect of the real estate boom on rental properties was particularly felt. All of a sudden, rental homes began to be converted and sold. Then with no new rental suites being constructed, the city began experiencing low single digit rental vacancies.

Saskatchewan has no rent controls. So what happened next could have been predicted. Owners began to jack up rent prices to take advantage of high demand or as a way to evict renters in hopes of selling. I knew people who faced hundreds of dollars in rent increases in one month. And where was the NDP govt on this issue?

Nowhere.

To make things worse, no-one in the province seemed to care enough to force and change. The result? A lot of people found out what it’s like to live in a garage.

I find it particularly rich that, now in opposition, the SK NDP is calling on the govt to do what they did not in all those years in power: install rent controls.

http://www.leaderpost.com/business/Saskatchewan+calling+provincial+government+impose+rent+control/2713906/story.html

But according to the story, a change is not on the radar for government. And here is the rationale for not doing anything:

Social Services Minister Donna Harpauer stated:

"Because what happens — and studies have shown — where rent controls have been implemented fewer developers will build multi-door units, as well as the landlords will not necessarily maintain the units they have, using the excuse that they don't have enough revenue from those units," Harpauer told reporters.

Apparently, Ms. Harpauer has no idea what has been taking place in the hottest real estate markets in Canada. Both BC and Ontario have had rent controls for years. And have they inhibited new development or resulted in dilapidation? No! Vancouver and Toronto remain the most expensive places to live in Canada. Rack up another giant DUH for SK.

One Bad Party

Note: A commentator on this site pointed me towards this story featuring good ol’ Saskatchewan. It’s a bit late coming but, by popular demand….

Where were you when the planes hit the Twin Towers on 9/11? I bet it wasn’t partying down at a pig roast…. that is, unless you live in Martensville, Saskatchewan.

Saskatoon Star Phoenix - Sask. Party burned by 9/11 image

FULL STORY

The story is this: someone in the Sask Party constituency association for Martensville released a poster for a fundraiser featuring an image of the 9/11 World Trade Center exploding just as the second plane hit it. The kicker was that–get ready for it—the event was a pig roast for a firefighter who survived the attacks.

I know Saskatchewan is a long way from New York and Afghanistan but the stupidity of this defies logic. They might as well have used the slogan “We’ll have a real knock-em down good time,” or “Get fired up with us,” or “Come go hog-wild at this barn-burner.” And the people at the Star Phoenix are no better by going with the headline “Sask. Party burned by 9/11 image.” Once again, I am reminded why the Star Phoenix is the Daniel Baldwin of the Canwest media empire family: thin on talent and not-so pretty to look at.

Personally, I don’t think any image of 9/11 is suitable for any advertising (unless you are trying to sell air mile Visa cards to Al-Qaeda) but this is Saskatchewan after all. Martensville for that matter –which essentially is a suburb of Saskatoon that provides absolutely nothing memorable to see or stop at as you drive your Sunfire north to Waskesu. Well Martensville, you’re officially on the map now! This means that they will now have to put up a giant roadside attraction. Let’s hope they learned a lesson and it has nothing to do with 9/11.

He’s Baaaaaaaaack!

Jim Pankiw. What else can I say? This infamous Saskatchewaner is known everywhere as Canada’s most openly-racist politician. In parts of Saskatchewan, however, he is hailed as some kind of folk hero, a dare-to-tell-the-truth warrior, valiantly fighting the good fight against the evil political correctness police. Never mind the fact that he has the IQ of a gopher hole and a hatred for aboriginal people that makes my dislike of Saskatchewan look like Mother Theresa’s work in Africa. His only political platform is a dislike of native people and he's more tan willing to talk about it. Apparently this is all you need to get elected in Saskatchewan. While not everyone in the province likes him, he certainly has a legendary following among many. He also seems to have no trouble getting local press. Boy, is that a sad thing.

Jim "Workin' Hard" Pankiw

Many thought that Mr. Pankiw’s political career was over after he lost his seat in the House of Commons and then came in third in the Saskatoon mayoralty race. But like a bad case of jock itch, he is back, and with a vengeance. He announced a few days ago that he will be running in the next federal election as an independent.

http://www.thestarphoenix.com/news/Pankiw+announces+return+politics+says+doesn+need+media+federal+riding/2522595/story.html
(check out the video and the comments section)

I’m reluctant to poke too much fun at Mr. Pankiw – if you watch the full video it seems pretty clear that he is either suffering from a mental illness or is indeed intoxicated, as one suspecting reported asked him (see 10:05). Still, I can’t help but find it hilarious that he claims to “have the internet now,” that he invited the media to hear him speak just to “rub it in their face,” and that he equates native headdress with a KKK Klansmen hood. Apparently wearing anything on your head makes you a racist by his logic. I also love how he nearly forgot to mention the reason for calling the press conference in the first place, that is until the very end. And to think - when I lived in SK, I thought Maurice Vellacott was a nut!

Sask Party Political Attack Ad Tells the TRUTH (Can you handle it?)

The Sask Party have released a new attack ad focusing on Lingenfelter (For those of you out of the loop, Lingenfelter is not some new type of stinky cheese - it is the name of the current leader of the New Democratic Party in SK).

The ad is a real doozy that Saskies will get to watch on their TV screens over the next few months while it runs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPGRMk0h0vg

Let me be clear that I am no fan of either the Sask Party or "house band" NDP in Saskatchewan. I have a strict policy of equal opportunity scorn when it comes to SK political parties. Furthermore, I have stated here before my dislike of Brad Wall’s Fred Durst wannabe sideburns and Lorne Calvert’s heinous mug as the face of government for all those years. Heck, I still sometimes wake up from the occasional nightmare involving the ex-premier’s face chasing me around in a wheat field… although the fright may just as well come from the thought of having to live in Saskatchewan again.

The Sask Party attack ad is a real gem. It starts by saying:

“Ever since he moved back from Alberta, Dwain Lingenfelter has been running down Saskatchewan.”

The next part lists a series of ostensibly damning quotes from Lingenfelter.

“These [Saskatchewan] people are grumpy.”
“Our economy is in free fall”
“We have gone from boom to bust”
The Premier is a “loser”

The ad ends with the statement:

“Dwain Lingenfelter. No new ideas... down on Saskatchewan.”

So these are not new ideas? Grumpy people, a bombing economy, and a loser for a Premier are old hat in Saskatchewan? Actually, now that I think about it, Lingenfelter's comments provide very true descriptions of what it is like in SK, the place I call the “rectangle of regression.” Could this be the most accurate political attack ad ever made? Maybe it is not an attack ad at all, but a documentary on Sask culture, as told by a person who I am sure they will indeed name a cheese after one day.

A few other truisms can also be gleaned from the ad:
-Moving away to live in Alberta (or any other province) is what many people have done (including myself) since life is too unpleasant in Saskatchewan for anything other than gophers and crazy Rider fans. But to Sask people, moving away is akin to an act of treason.

-“Running down Saskatchewan” is something voters can relate to since no-one ever walks anywhere in the province – they only drive (a Sunfire, of course).
-Also, being “down on Saskatchewan” is frowned upon on the ad because it really is a terrible sin to say anything but specious niceties about the province when living in SK. It actually is the 11th commandment in SK: “Thou shalt not be down on Saskatchewan,” followed by the 12th commandment: “Thou shalt not crack jokes about Saskatchewan, ever, never, wherever.”

Oh, Father, I have sinned….

Tillman Resigns - A Provincial Day of Mourning

Well, Eric Tillman has done something the Saskatchewan justice system obviously could not: dish up a penalty for the sexual assault of his sixteen year old babysitter. In case you missed the news, Tillman was charged and found guilty of the charge of sexual assault. The judge, however, discharged Tillman with no penalty or criminal record, a sure sign that Rider management get the royal treatment in SK. That is, when they are not busy playing hut the ball with their babysitters.

So the supreme il duce leader of the Roughrider Nation will no longer serve as the team’s GM. I’ve been watching this story from afar and am glad to see that somebody had watermelons enough to do the right thing. He learned the hard way that you can work for the Roughriders but you can’t Roughride those who work for you.

I’ve been watching the fallout at the Rider Nation headquarters - http://www.riderfans.com/forum The reaction there is mixed at least, but more than a fair share of fans are angry to see a resignation. In addition to refuting the seriousness of the crime, they see no problem with Tillman staying on as GM. Sad.

So what’s next for Tillman? Who cares, really but I have five bucks saying he’ll shack up with another person who screwed Saskatchewan – Kent Austin – and film a sequel to Swingers. Gotta love them babies.

You can take them out of Saskatchewan but you can't take the Saskatchewan out of them

While it is true that I am an ex-pat who still loves to take shots at the province, I am NOT this guy!


Sask. ex-pat kept hunting in province, now faces fines
Used health ID to get big game licences

The StarPhoenix January 3, 2010

It was February of 2003 when Brian Larson left Saskatchewan for greener pastures in Alberta.

His Saskatchewan Health card expired a few months later -- but Larson held onto the number printed on it, and in 2005, 2006 and 2007, it allowed him to keep the same big game hunting privileges as any true resident of his home province. He used his father's post office box in the town of Brock as his "address" when filling out applications.

Conservation officers caught up to Larson on May 6, 2008, when they searched his uncle's farm near the small town of Mankota and seized six sets of antlers from whitetail and mule deer -- three from the farmhouse, two more from an outbuilding and one from a grain bin. FULL STORY

Rider GM Eric Tillman Gets Off..... The Hook, That Is....

In Saskatchewan, the word “Riders” is holy logos. People in the province won’t be able to tell you who their Lieutenant Governor is, but be damned sure they will be able to recite the entire starting lineup for their beloved Roughriders CFL football team. It’s a religion. And Rider coaching and management staff? They are royalty. And I don’t mean the quaint and nice type of royalty like Princess Di you find on ornamental plates; I mean the dirty, lecherous, power-hungry, hubris-soaked kind of royals you read about in Shakespearean plays.

*Enter stage right: General Manager of the Riders, Eric Tillman.*

Is it any real surprise that Mr. Tillman got off the hook for sexually assaulting a sixteen year old girl? The very foundation of Rider Pride was shaken to its core when allegations surfaced last year that he sexually assaulted a young girl. People in Saskatchewan were in shock. How could it be? Could the man with a hairdo that they modeled Chia-Pets and curling shoe cleaners after, could do such a thing? But one can never underestimate the commitment of Rider fans to their team and supreme leader. As of last month, the vast majority of Rider fans polled (obviously still delirious with denial) said “Keep Tillman on,” and regardless of the outcome of the trial. Then again, what else would one expect from people who make watermelons look smart when they are both seen together.

Tillman went on to plead guilty and apologized, yet also maintained that he had no memory of the incident due to medication he was on (most likely anti-depressants since he has to live in SK). And we find out today that he now has been given an absolute discharge and will have no criminal record thereafter. Just lovely. And during the so-called sentencing, he didn’t even have to sit in the prisoner’s box like any other accused – he was allowed to sit with his counsel. Talk about preferential treatment.

In the end, the judge deemed the incident “out of character” for Tillman. Good grief, are they close drinking buddies or something? The judge might as well have dismissed the charge as treasonous and a contravention to the [Rider] national interest. The judge could have also put his rider jersey and a water melon on his head to announce the judgement – then bust out a keg of 'Pil for all!

In the end, I’m sure people in SK will be cheering this mockery of justice, the same way they cheered on former Rider coach Kent Austin when he screwed the team again and skipped town for a better job in the US after one year. They really should change the Rider cheer to “Wham Bam Thank You M’am!” It would have to replace the current cheer “Riders Grey Cup! Next year FER-SURE!”

I bet Mr. Tillman will even join the ranks of Grant Devine one day and receive the prestigious Order of Merit for his deeds. Now, if only Saskies knew who handed Order of Merits out.