Tuesday, May 4, 2010

0 to 100 in a century, flat

Well, storms, floods, and locusts must be approaching, as I recently heard that Saskatoon is getting a Porsche dealership. The story says that it is a sign that the city is "growing up."

I’m not sure which is the funnier part about this story: 1) the fact that a city as big as Saskatoon doesn’t have a Porsche dealership yet, or 2) the fact that someone would suggest that the city is in fact “growing up.”

Maybe it’s the latter. Keep in mind that Saskatoon is a city over a hundred years old. This would mean that the city is about the slowest to develop in Canada. To use a metaphor, the city is akin to a full-grown adult who hates baths and still plays with Tonka trucks. Or, to be more precise, John Deere tractor toys.

No doubt, Saskatchewan is the most handy-capable province in Canada but I’m not going to dwell on that here. Nor am I going to debate the principle whether Saskatchewan should have a Porsche dealership at all (contrary to socialist doctrine).

Rather, I’m dedicating this post to celebrating the real automobile that symbolizes Saskatchewan: the Pontiac Sunfire. I don’t care if Porsches start rolling down 2nd Ave by the hundreds. No turbo 911 will ever displace the Sunfire as the official pace car of Saskatchewan. The province is Sunfire country, baby, and never forget it!

Enjoy the images below of these beauties, taken from the local used classifieds.

Buy it now and the owner will throw in a sweet 1990s colour splash

Sweet! The door works on this one.

Sunfires look best when you kneel down to look at them…. with your eyes closed that is.

Terrible colour – you’ll never find your car at a wheat field party.

Wash your car before selling it? Pah! Not in Saskatchewan! That might be precius potash dust.

The seats may be vinyl but the steering wheel is 100% genuine cowhide. The owner should know, he killed the cow himself

One of these two vehicles is still running. HINT: it doesnt rhyme with Sunfire.

For women in SK, driving a white Sunfire is akin to wearing white at a wedding. Purity.

Just like the car in Knight Rider – no human brain required to drive it.

Comes with subs – guaranteed to pump out Nickelback like no-one’s business.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What, are you an idiot, people in Saskatchewan don't listen to that Alberta band, they listen to the Queen City Kids, a good Saskatchewan band. When mellow, we listen to Colin James.