Thursday, July 24, 2008

Saskatoon's Boom..... Not Quite

More proof in the Star Phoenix that Saskatoon's so-called boom is anything but--the money numbers might say one thing but demographics say another... people are STILL leaving the province by the thousands! The ship might not be sinking still but the rats--or prairie dogs perhaps--are still fleeing! Get out while you can!

from: http://www.canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/news/story.html?id=4c0536a2-24b0-40d6-9cc7-e87c286159a9


City population sinks: Estimate shows decline of 2,000 people since Jan. 2007

Rod Nickel, The StarPhoenixPublished: Thursday, July 24, 2008

Slow down that swagger, Saskatoon. The economy may be booming, but those counting heads suggest that doesn't mean the population is doing the same. The most recent estimate of Saskatoon's population from a Toronto analytics firm caused jaws to drop in the city planning department when it reported a decrease of 2,000 people between January 2007 and spring of this year to about 212,000 in the city proper. Anyone, including city officials, watching new neighbourhoods fill in and traffic back up might be skeptical that 2,000 souls have gone missing.
"We talked to (the firm) and said, 'We find this surprising,' " said Bill Holden, manager of the city's research and information resource centre. "They said, based on the stuff we do, that's the number we got."


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

More reasons why Saskatchewan sucks

Why I hate SASKATCHEWN (Part Two)

Saskatchewan sucks so much that lists of “worst things” come in multiples. So here’s Volume two of my list of 50 reasons why Saskatchewan sucks. Enjoy!


1) The BUGS (this year silkworms were the vanguard of the mosquito barrage)
2) West Nile (see #1)
3) Tax, Tax, TAX! There’s a bloody tax on everything here! They even have a separate tax to have a fire when you’re camping!
4) It’s incredibly BORING here. Really, there’s jack to do in this province (besides pay tax)
5) The government has to pay for TV ads to convince their own residents that Saskatchewan is a great place to live
6) Ridiculous price of tickets to see CFL game here
7) When you do pay to see a CFL game, one team has to be the RIDERS
8) No hockey team. Who the hell do you cheer for?!?! GO OILJETFLAMES?
9) Anti-Semitism is alive and well here (and the offenders are proud of it!)
10) Any lake below PA stinks to high heaven in summer of sulphur
11) What is considered accepted drinking culture here… well, I guess it can be called that if you consider getting smashed at a public place and making an ass of yourself “culture”
12) People take pride in “their” provincial berry. Jesus Christ, it’s a berry!
13) Everyone has hydrophobia – Don’t go in the RIVER!
14) Shittiest camping areas in Canada (imagine an empty field with parked sunfires and tents)
15) No trout, bass, or salmon fishing—just those fugly jackfish
16) Lorne Calvert’s mug as the face of government (Yes I know he’s gone now but DAMN!)
17) Provincial politics about as interesting to watch as continental plate movement.
18) Social gospel tradition – the worst of both worlds!
19) None of the province’s celebrities from here end up retiring here (Gee, I wonder why!)
20) No strip joints… WTF!
21) People are so damn cheap!
22) People don’t “get it” about Costa Maragos
23) It only has two seasons. Summer (don’t blink) and the 8 month hell-sojourn they call winter
24) So flat people get vertigo when they walk up the 2% incline of Broadway Bridge
25) No passing lanes on highways
26) People won’t pass on highways unless they can see an uninterrupted horizon.
27) The highways are falling apart (until you reach Alberta border—phew!)
28) Can’t fly out of province without a stopover in either Winnipeg or Calgary
29) Government can’t properly manage the lease situation for the garbage dump ski hill so its opens before January..,, or follow the recommendation to privatize it (gasp!)
30) Most overweight province in all of Canada and government does NOTHING about it
31) Candy machines everywhere (see #28)
32) It’s one of the worst polluters in Canada and no-one seems to give a shit
33) Worst health care backlog I’ve seen of all the provinces
34) VLTs every God damn place you go
35) No microbeers… Sorry, Paddockwood is ONE company.
36) Giant ugly roadside “attractions” like a big steel piece of wheat… gee, like you can’t wheat anywhere else in this province!
37) Many people still speak the words NDP and Tommy Douglas as though there still is a connection. The rest complain that the NDP isn’t socialist enough
38) Gay marriage is an issue that gets people riled up here, still [yawn]
39) You have to get your license renewed every year.
40) You can never find road signs showing how many kms to your destination. Are we supposed to enjoy driving in this flat wasteland in and of itself?
41) Murders on the news sometimes follow the 30 min weather forecast. Which is really most important now people?!?!
42) The astronomical price of housing – better get ready for the crash, peeps!
43) Newscasters (Hey CTV wardrobe people!) wear the same ugly tweed blazer everyday. It’s hard not to smell the 1970s right through my TV screen.
44) The airport can shut down for 3 days for construction—where on else would this ever happen?!?
45) Condo development (old Bay bldg downtown Stoon) takes three years and they’re STILL not finished it!
46) NDP Opposition gets press coverage for complaining that the new Sask Party government isn’t doing anything.
47) The province has no incentive for people to stay here yet everyone wonders why there’s a brain drain.
48) No infrastructure development to suggest that anything has changed economically in this province in the last ten years.
49) People think province “HAVE” status means something.
50) I have to live here for now!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Music for Saskatchewan

Saskatchewan

(Meant to be sung to the melody of “Rockstar” by Nickelback)

I’m through with idling in line
For Timmy's drive through window
It’s like endless time
With no Timbits to go
This life hasn’t turned out
But I don’t know what else to be

I want to pay more rent
For the same shitty hole
And a bathroom someone once got stabbed in
And a king sized gut enough
For ten big macs

I’ll need a 06 sunfire that’s got 200k
And some big black dice for my rearview mirror
Gonna go to Canadian Tire
And buy a flared clip-on tailpipe

I want to go to Regina and pay eighty bucks
To see the Rider’s lose ‘cause they really do suck
And then bitch about the refs
As though they lost the game for the green

I’d never trade this life for fortune and fame
I’ll never leave this province because I’m scared of change

[CHORUS]

‘Cause we all just wanna be Tommy Douglas
and live on Spadina Crescent driving two Sunfires
The girls come easy and the Pil’ comes cheap
We’ll all stay fat from all the candy we eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
Like the BP lounge with the drunk bar stars
Every good prairie girl’s
Gonna wind up there
Every muffin top
With black roots and blonde hair
Then we’ll do donuts around MidTown Plaza
And wonder why Diva’s has only guys going there
We’ll talk about the Rider’s as though someone cares
Everybody’s got Vern’s Pizza on speed dial

Hey, hey I’m Saskatchewan
Hey, hey I’m Saskatchewan