Why I hate SASKATCHEWN (Part Two)
Saskatchewan sucks so much that lists of “worst things” come in multiples. So here’s Volume two of my list of 50 reasons why Saskatchewan sucks. Enjoy!
1) The BUGS (this year silkworms were the vanguard of the mosquito barrage)
2) West Nile (see #1)
3) Tax, Tax, TAX! There’s a bloody tax on everything here! They even have a separate tax to have a fire when you’re camping!
4) It’s incredibly BORING here. Really, there’s jack to do in this province (besides pay tax)
5) The government has to pay for TV ads to convince their own residents that Saskatchewan is a great place to live
6) Ridiculous price of tickets to see CFL game here
7) When you do pay to see a CFL game, one team has to be the RIDERS
8) No hockey team. Who the hell do you cheer for?!?! GO OILJETFLAMES?
9) Anti-Semitism is alive and well here (and the offenders are proud of it!)
10) Any lake below PA stinks to high heaven in summer of sulphur
11) What is considered accepted drinking culture here… well, I guess it can be called that if you consider getting smashed at a public place and making an ass of yourself “culture”
12) People take pride in “their” provincial berry. Jesus Christ, it’s a berry!
13) Everyone has hydrophobia – Don’t go in the RIVER!
14) Shittiest camping areas in Canada (imagine an empty field with parked sunfires and tents)
15) No trout, bass, or salmon fishing—just those fugly jackfish
16) Lorne Calvert’s mug as the face of government (Yes I know he’s gone now but DAMN!)
17) Provincial politics about as interesting to watch as continental plate movement.
18) Social gospel tradition – the worst of both worlds!
19) None of the province’s celebrities from here end up retiring here (Gee, I wonder why!)
20) No strip joints… WTF!
21) People are so damn cheap!
22) People don’t “get it” about Costa Maragos
23) It only has two seasons. Summer (don’t blink) and the 8 month hell-sojourn they call winter
24) So flat people get vertigo when they walk up the 2% incline of Broadway Bridge
25) No passing lanes on highways
26) People won’t pass on highways unless they can see an uninterrupted horizon.
27) The highways are falling apart (until you reach Alberta border—phew!)
28) Can’t fly out of province without a stopover in either Winnipeg or Calgary
29) Government can’t properly manage the lease situation for the garbage dump ski hill so its opens before January..,, or follow the recommendation to privatize it (gasp!)
30) Most overweight province in all of Canada and government does NOTHING about it
31) Candy machines everywhere (see #28)
32) It’s one of the worst polluters in Canada and no-one seems to give a shit
33) Worst health care backlog I’ve seen of all the provinces
34) VLTs every God damn place you go
35) No microbeers… Sorry, Paddockwood is ONE company.
36) Giant ugly roadside “attractions” like a big steel piece of wheat… gee, like you can’t wheat anywhere else in this province!
37) Many people still speak the words NDP and Tommy Douglas as though there still is a connection. The rest complain that the NDP isn’t socialist enough
38) Gay marriage is an issue that gets people riled up here, still [yawn]
39) You have to get your license renewed every year.
40) You can never find road signs showing how many kms to your destination. Are we supposed to enjoy driving in this flat wasteland in and of itself?
41) Murders on the news sometimes follow the 30 min weather forecast. Which is really most important now people?!?!
42) The astronomical price of housing – better get ready for the crash, peeps!
43) Newscasters (Hey CTV wardrobe people!) wear the same ugly tweed blazer everyday. It’s hard not to smell the 1970s right through my TV screen.
44) The airport can shut down for 3 days for construction—where on else would this ever happen?!?
45) Condo development (old Bay bldg downtown Stoon) takes three years and they’re STILL not finished it!
46) NDP Opposition gets press coverage for complaining that the new Sask Party government isn’t doing anything.
47) The province has no incentive for people to stay here yet everyone wonders why there’s a brain drain.
48) No infrastructure development to suggest that anything has changed economically in this province in the last ten years.
49) People think province “HAVE” status means something.
50) I have to live here for now!