Sunday, June 16, 2013

Saskatchewan learns how to make a circle

Holy Jesus, it's been awhile since I thought about good ol' Saskatchewan. This is partly because you never see a Saskatchewan license plate in BC (due to natural physics as Pontiac Sunfires are incapable of crossing the Rocky Mountains without exploding into a dazzling ball of flame). No magic required there, just crappy GM engineering.
However, Internet is capable of passing where no Sunfire or hairy-footed hobbit can. Which is how I came across this magical story: Circle Drive is about to become..... well......!
A complete circle. Wow. Look out Nostradamus, the original namers of this highway to nowhere have got one up on you, naming a circle that would become.... a circle... *chills*
Wait. Wait a god damn minute. Has anyone actually bothered to see what this "circled" drive actually looks like?
Circle Drive, you disappoint me. You are not a circle. You are a square. With a bad haircut to boot. And you are ten years late to the party (I can forgive the last bit as you are, after all, born and raised, from Saskatchewan).
But maybe I am short-sighted. Have I not considered the larger social good? Did I not think about all of those good east side people who will now be able to drive a shorter distance to the garbage dump... er-I mean future ski-hill? How dumb of me. Dwelling on shapes. What a jerk. A circle jerk, to be exact.
Do I have to eat the cracker?


Andy said...

The thing that always surprises me is how unfriendly many of the locals are. Everyone says "oooh, the nicest people in Canada" (and every province except ON and QC lays claim to that title, but I digress) but I don't find them particularly nice here. Yeah, a few are, just like anywhere in Canada or the world. Most aren't.
I've lived here for a whole decade and don't have even one good friend from here. And, I've tried my damndest. I had no attitude issues or hangups when I first moved here as a naive 20 year old, but ten years of living here has made me bitter, cynical and distrustful of people.

9 Inches Uncut said...

Saskatchewan must not be that bad if this shit is the first hit.

I mean put some effort in to it. Sunfires are your go to vehicle of choice? This is the land of overpriced shit-assed F-150s driven by wanna be cowboys who would rather die the scratch the paint using it like a truck. Instead you pick a popular low cost car which must be some sort of dog whistle on poor people or something.

I don't know what province you started out in but B.C. pretty much has to be the worst place in the country to move to. If you rag on a shithead like Brad Wall I can't imagine what you'd have to say about Christy Clark as you drown in her sea of neo-liberal piss. Of course, you can mention the weather (because Saskatchewan has 8 months of winter amirite guys?) but it's small consolation in a province that offers a morbid economy and an overpriced housing market that borders on comical. (They can only go up up up)

And just so people don't say "Hey 9 inches you're just whiteknighting for your shitty province."

I'll counter with saying that this stupid place cared more about building a half billion dollar football stadium for a last place team in a second rate league then they ever did about building a Children's Hospital.

Read the above paragraph and it sums up shitty parts of Saskatchewan better then anything this blog had to say about it.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear you say that Andy I feel the same way. That province takes a beating out on people. Its not full of particularly nice people, exactly the opposite. I lived there for ten years and I'm sure the place is an accumulation of Canada's unwanted less than human biggots.

Anonymous said...

This site is as pathetic as the people who comment here. My family vacations in Saskatchewan each year and we always enjoy our time there. Every province has it's positives and negatives, and you folks only seem to focus on the negatives. You need some serious therapy.

Anonymous said...

So whats the positives about the people here?

I say people because everyone loves to comment on the "Lake" and the "Tree" which the people in this province had nothing to do with.

Anonymous said...

I moved back to Saskie for a great job that turned into a so-so job that has just become a dead end. How do you get ahead here? You suck at what you do and kiss ass as much as possible -- just like in a small town where everyone is related. Worse than it was when I left 10 yrs ago.

Anonymous said...

you come and find a job out here get in good with the company and transfer out when you get enough seniority. Sask is THE dead end.

Anonymous said...

Just a little note to the locals who think we're all a bunch of whiners who need to go home:

You made us this way. Yep, it's true. In my own case, My wife and I came here with the intention of setting up shop, doing business, buy a place and contribute to a small town that needed our services.

We came here with hope and promise, enthusiasm and knowledge of how small town Canada functions.

We had no expectations aside from what's normal - that we'd be treated as equals.

Time and again, though, nepotism, bigotry, prejudice, preferred ignorance and the most small-minded, immature ways of thinking I think I've ever witnessed in any country I've been to have been tossed in our path.

In speaking with other newcomers, it's like we're all reading from the same book. We all see the same thing - opportunities destroyed by a bunch of small town no-minds. Why hire us when you can get cuzzin' Mary or Jethro to do a poor imitation of the same thing for twice the price? "Let's keep it in the community", they say. (funny, I live in the same community. I guess I'm not part of the 'community' if that's the case, eh?)

Over time, this has an effect on people - us people - the newcomers. We get frustrated, and after everything we try to do just to survive here, we see ourselves start to change. We see changes in our family members and in ourselves that we hate. We hate them, but the locals think we're starting to become more "reasonable"; more "understanding".

We understand all right. We understand that the locals here for the most part have no hobbies aside from gossiping and tearing people down. We understand that the locals have mo idea of what an intelligent conversation consists of. (hint: the words "John Deere" and "Check Peas" don't come up) We understand that the locals want all of us outsiders gone. We understand that you want our land and our business, but for half of what we paid for it... notice the pattern of bigotry and destruction of anything you don't understand?

So, remember, all you Saskawitchiwhiners, we are what you wanted us to become. So don't complain when you and your backwards province gets a bad rap. You earned it for all your hard work.

But we won't for long because I, for one, am moving on

Anonymous said...

The vitriolic one is back after a hiatus! Welcome back. I see that you haven't grown up yet, which is a shame.... hope you've made some new friends in BC, despite your attitude.

We know that someday you WILL have to defy your blog heading, and admit that the people around you ARE the most important thing in life - no matter where those people are. Fascination over public transit and recycling will fade into the background

As for some of the others commenting on here, they sound like clones of you.

I don't think Sask is the greatest place, either. BC is prettier. So is the south of France. I think Berlin would be a smashing place to live. However, anywhere you go will have good aspects and bad ones, good people and lousy ones.

So keep on writing - and in the meantime, tens of thousands are choosing to move to Sask, and (October 23, 2013) might want to note that Sask wages are the 2nd highest in Canada, after Alberta's. So maybe a "DEAD END" compared to that province, but not to Ontario, Manitoba, or (ahem) BC.

... and if you are lucky, you might even find some people who aren't beneath the standards of (November 7, 2013), and who will talk to you about something other than chick peas and tractors.

Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right sask does have some of the highest wages in Canada, you have to pay well to keep anyone here.

1986-1991 -2.0% pop growth
1991-1996 +0.1% pop growth
1996-2001 -1.1% pop growth
2001-2006 -1.1% pop growth
2006-2011 +6.7% pop growth
(Government census reports)

Congrats boys we are now equal to our population of 30 years ago

And good chance the population will continue to grow, thank the oil and removal of the ndp for that. But if you come here expecting to hold up any sort of industry standard you will be laughed at, I worked for an oil company and if anything was spilled you kept quiet and used a drag to cover it up, major line break scrape up top 3ft and cover with soil from the farmers field, let the next company that buys this land deal with it.

This is the black mark that follows you out of sask because all other companies know the standard that is upheld here.

Anonymous said...

... and if you are lucky, you might even find some people who aren't beneath the standards of (November 7, 2013), and who will talk to you about something other than chick peas and tractors.

Yeah, where? ...oh wait, there are a few who like to talk about curling and the Riders. You're right. My bad.

Anonymous said...

You need it so bad

Anonymous said...

You must me a real dumb hick.

In every community I've visited since leaving your abyss there are never ending horror stories and tales of failed dreams and wrecked promises, fortunes stolen.

Let me correct you Mister Saskatchewan, tens of thousands leave your province almost as fast as they come. And when potash drops you'll have a ghost province. Its been a long time coming. Check Stats Canada website.

Your comments are rediculous and deluded old boy.

Anonymous said...

Please name me a city that has a ring road, with a perfect circle shape....

if not, you are nut job.

Anonymous said...

Ring Road, Victoria BC

Anonymous said...

I went for a beer with a an old friend while I was visiting Regina. Apparently our best bet for a drink with interesting locals in a pub/bar with character and good music was a bar in a strip mall full of Brahs. 100% baseball caps, 50% backwards. So cool.