I Hate Saskatchewan

A Recycled Story?

2011-05-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

People who live in Saskatchewan can look forward to a number of things every spring. No, I am not referring to spraining your ankle in a gopher hole, nor seeing the mountains of dog pooh that are revealed by the melting snow, courtesy a winter’s worth of lazy dog owners. Nor am I talking about the dust bowls on all the streets that sandblast you until July, because it takes that long for the city sweepers to get to them.

I am talking about the debate over curbside recycling pickup. You see, Saskatoon is one of the few jurisdictions in the civilized world where there is no curbside recycling program. This is by choice, as every year it seems, city residents vote down proposals to institute a recycling program that would cost a few dollars a months per house. Instead, a majority of citizens vote no, and choose to continue to throw all their glass, plastic, and paper products into the trash to be hauled away to the landfill. The alternate is for residents to drive to a recyclable drop off site, most of which are located on the outskirts of the city. Neither option is very green, even if your Pontiac Sunfire has emerald flake paint.

What me worry?

Loyal fans of this blog will remember me covering this topic in an earlier post. Well, the debate is back and citizens are once again up in arms, with a vigour that would make Louis Riel shy away. You see, to most Saskatchewaners, recyclables are GARBAGE, pure and simple. Accordingly, who in their right mind should have to pay to sort their GARBAGE and put it in a blue box on the street corner for all to see? I mean, really, who can be bothered having to sort GARBAGE! Well, not these fine commenters on the Star Phoenix website.

STOP MANDATORY RECYCLING 1:33 AM on May 7, 2011
These things will undoubtedly land in the landfill: *** GLASS, STYROFOAM, LAUNDRY SOAP CONTAINERS, SHAMPOO/CONDITIONER, MARGARINE & YOGURT CONTAINERS, etc. are still going to the landfill AFTER You put it in your recycling container! WHAT A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY!
****Also many community gardeners would appreciate Yogurt & Margarine type containers for their gardening, so they are at least reused and nearly decomposed after years of reuse!
I AGREE!
"I pay property taxes for garbage collection and I pay to use the landfill."
"I do not get paid to sort garbage for the City!"
"If recycling is so economical then why is the city not PAYING me to recycle?"
****MEMO TO CITY COUNCIL****
WE ARE ALL ALREADY PAYING MORE THAN WE SHOULD BE FOR LACK OF GOOD SERVICES!
Keep your hands out of OUR wallets!

anon148658090 10:54 PM on May 6, 2011
I pay property taxes for garbage collection and I pay to use the landfill.
I do not get paid to sort garbage for the City!
If recycling is so economical then why is the city not PAYING me to recycle.
For example, Sarcan PAYS for recycled cans because it is cheaper to make cans from recycled aluminum.
Memo to City Council - I am paying more than enough already for crappy service! Keep your hands out of my wallet!

Rick951 5:05 PM on May 6, 2011
I sure hope that there will be an opt-out for people who choose to go with services like Loraas. I will be livid if the city expects me to double pay when I will not be using their service. I have no garage and no room in my house to sort garbage, so I will definitely stick to Loraas.
On top of that, the city's ridiculous "every second week" garbage pickup in the winter makes me loathe to give them any more money to run another waste program.

anon148658090 11:39 AM on May 6, 2011
So, the City is going to hire more unionized workers to collect and sort our garbage and stiff us with the bill!
Privatize the garbage collection!
How stupid are Saskatonians anyway. We need new bridges, new roads and repair of our old crumbling roads.
But, we have a 58 million dollar art gallery, a 5 million dollar windmill, and bike paths in a city covered in snow for 6 or more months of the year.
I will rest easy knowing that the City can't balance its budget, but at least no expense has been spared on my garbage!

Alas, maybe it is I who is short sighted. After all, the Blackstrap ski hill was created from a giant mound of garbage in the middle of a field. Again, the subject of another previous blog post. Maybe the opposition to a recycling program is actually part of a long-term plan for Saskatoon to develop a new provincial-class ski resort. Saskatoon Winter 2022 Winter Olympics anyone? Talk about deja vu!

Saskatchewannabes!

2011-04-26T18:02:00.000-07:00

Hands off Saskatchewan. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Brad Wall. Ed Stelmach, take note. The Canucks are BC’s team (being in the Best Place on Earth has its perks).

Two of these things are not like the other...

Yeah, I know Saskatchewan has no NHL franchise – just those WHL Blades – but that doesn’t mean any old Saskatchewannabe can just waltz over to BC during the playoffs, don a jersey, and become part of Canuck towel power. Not even if you're the premier.

Instead, stick to doing what Saskatchewan does best – wearing watermelons on your head while getting hypothermia.

GO CANUCKS GO!!!!

One Less Reason to Love Saskatchewan

2011-03-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

Damn you, Canwest. And damn you, Saskatoon Star Phoenix. If it wasn't for you, I could actually purge all memories of Saskatchewan from my brain. Instead, I get random newspaper feeds about Saskatchewan through my local news affiliate. This one particular story from the Star Phoenix online caught my eye:

"52 Reasons to Love Saskatchewan"

Of course, anyone who has lived in Saskatchewan will immediately be struck by such a statement. 52 reasons to love Saskatchewan? Are there really 52? Maybe they left out the decimal. Yes, 5.2 reasons sounds like a more appropriate figure. Clearly, the writer has not weighed the positives against the hundreds of reasons to hate Saskatchewan, so carefully noted in this blog.

But let's move beyond the numbers. Does everything on that list truly count as a reason to love Saskatchewan? This particular entry, #5 on their list, raised my eyebrow:

Woah. Stop. "Sculpture Garden?" That's what they call it? That empty field by the university full of creepy unfinished looking blobs of white cement? I must have walked by that place hundreds of times. It always struck me for three reasons:

1) The creepiness of it. That giant white hand with black nail polish coming out of the ground is just plain creepy. Just walk by it at night. The other sculptures range from slightly disturbing to full-on heeby-jeebies.

2) The waste of space. It was apparently built as a temporary display for an art show in 1993 and it's been there ever since. Why haven't they at least removed the sculptures, let alone developed the land, which is prime riverfront property. They could build student residences there to address the ongoing student housing shortage that one hears about every fall.

3) The sheer ugliness of it. I know taste in art is a subjective thing. But I've made art. Art is a friend of mine. Star Phoenix, those sculptures are no art.

Art to some; a giant pooh to others

If this is #5 on a list of 52, I can't imagine what other gems the Star Phoenix have in store for us. Stay tuned.

I HATE BC

2011-02-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

NOT! Actually, if there ever was a reason to hate my new home, British Columbia (The Best Place on Earth, in case you haven't seen the license plate), it was because of this recent blast of cold weather that blew in from Saskabush. Yes, BC got quite the dump of snow this week, followed by chilling winds.

Shit Happens

I've begun to notice things like dog pee in frozen snowbanks and people walking around the mall in gum boots, which have reminded me of one thing... actually two things... 1) Saskatchewan, and 2) this terribly neglected blog.

I really care about one of these things so I've cobbled together a short post highlighting the differences between BC and SK when it comes to wintery things:

Wind Chill
BC: Wind what?
SK: The difference between wearing 3 or 4 layers of clothes

Snow
BC: A day off work! Sweet!
SK: Better shovel my walk before the city fines me

Ice
BC: What you see when you look out your window
SK: What you see on the inside of your window

Environment Canada Weather Warning
BC: You take your umbrella going to work
SK: You take your life into your hands going to work

Coarse Salt
BC: Used for seasoning fine food
SK: Used for seasoning fine driveways

Winter
BC: 3 months you don't have to mow your lawn
Sask: 7 months of your life you'll never get back

Hold Your Nose When You Do It

2010-10-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

Those helpful folks at the StarPhoenix are launching an informative new online restaurant guide. They are asking for your help for a readers' choice category on favourite places to eat. I’ve decided to post, for my loyal readers, my submission to the survey. Bon appetit!

Do... I... have... to... eat... this?

1. What is your favourite overall restaurant in Saskatoon?
Does going back to complain about getting food poisoning count as a return visit?

2. Why is it your favourite restaurant?
Oh, that’s easy. McDonald’s. Because the food is prepared a continent away.

3. What is your favourite sports bar in Saskatoon?
Well, I’d say there are plenty of good sports to see at any bar in Stoon. Go to any place during a Rider game and you can see brawling, vomiting, face-planting, public urinating, beer shotgunning, and countless other competitive sports in SK.

4. What is your favourite lounge in Saskatoon?
I used to like to lounge in this one place after eating out in Saskatoon. They had a stomach pump and “ER” on the door. It was really clean (a nice change) with very comfortable couches—highly recommended!

5. What is your favourite restaurant deck in Saskatoon?
Any, but only in August. Otherwise you run the risk of hypothermia before your first drink arrives.

6. What is your favourite pizza place in Saskatoon?
Well, I once knew this funny guy with raging hormones in grade 9 who… oh wait! You said PLACE.

7. What is your favourite fast food place in Saskatoon?
Fast food in Saskatoon? By this do you mean your food arrives in under 20 minutes? LOL! Good one!

8. What is your "Guilty Pleasure" food item at any restaurant in Saskatoon?
I’m not sure about the “pleasure” part, but I certainly feel guilty after eating out in Saskatoon. Ask my plumber.

9. Which restaurant is your "Guilty Pleasure" food item from?
Your honour, I'd prefer to plead not guilty.

Is “Visit Saskatchewan” on Your Bucket List?

2010-08-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

OWW! Does my neck ever hurt. It’s from the double take I did when I read a headline from the Regina Leader this week.:
“Aussie travels to Regina to strike No. 23 from bucket list.

An Australian, Sebastain Terry, apparently visited Saskatchewan to complete an item on his bucket list. I think I speak for all of civilized Canada when my response to reading that was, “Bucket list? Saskatchewan? SAY WHA?!?!”

When I read further, it began to make sense. He didn’t have “visit Hell” on his bucket list but rather, had put down “deliver a baby” on it. He happened to be able to do this in Regina, which is why he came to the city. Personally, I’d rather leave the delicate task of delivering a child to a trained doctor, but clearly not everyone in Sask thinks the same. Maybe they thought he was a doctor. He does, after all have a funny accent, just like Dr. House has (in real life).

It’s amazing so how little goes on in SK, that the local paper reports on this kind of triviality. This guy clearly is looking simply for media attention, less so to experience the gift of life. I mean, look at the shirt he made up and is wearing. It reminds me a bit of the guy who traded a paper clip several times and eventually traded up to a house in Saskatchewan. Personally, that story was interesting enough to deserve a headline. I guess the main news item from both stories is that people would want to come to Saskatchewan. An extraordinary factor clearly must be involved. Now that’s news.

Unfortunately, visiting SK is not on my bucket list. If it was, it’d be somewhere between become a John Tesh concert roadie and play leap frog with a grizzly bear.

Please Pass the Fantuz Flakes

2010-07-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

I'll admit, Andy Fantuz is a pretty good football player. I actually like him, even though he plays for the wretched Riders. Do I like him enough to eat his flakes? Ummmmm….. I think I’ll leave the honour of doing that to the crazy fans known as the Rider Nation. They love them and apparently can't get enough of those scrump-diddilyicious Fantuz Flakes. They're sold right out of them!

"Hi, would you like to taste my Flakes?"

What the hell is a Fantuz Flake anyway? Did the janitor who cleans the Rider locker room find them in the shower and say, "Hey, I can make some money off this!" Actually, never mind. I really don’t want to know.

So what tasty treats can we expect next from team that can't count to twelve? Durant Drops? Lucas Lumps? Clermont Crisps? Bagg Bags?

And the award goes to...

2010-07-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

May I have a drum roll please.

What is the most crime ridden province in Canada? Who rocks the Crime Severity Index like no one else? Who takes both first and second place with the highest violent crime rates in Canada? Who claimed the same top honours last year?

Saskatchewan, baby. That's who!

It's pretty ironic actually, as there is quite a bit of rivalry between the two cities. People in Saskaton think their city is so much better than Regina, and vice versa. I never really understood the whole competitive city thing, or what evidence it was based on. I've been in both places and trust me, neither are much to brag about. Until now, that is.... GO REGINA, GO!

Regina, Saskatoon crime rates fall, but still highest

The crime rate in Saskatoon fell in 2009, but the city remained at the No. 2 spot — second only to Regina — on Statistics Canada’s measurement of crime severity across the country.

We’ve managed to see another decrease this year in both violent and non-violent crime, certainly not the kind of drops we’ve seen in the last couple of years the report’s been published, but a decrease nonetheless,” said Saskatoon Police Service spokesperson Alyson Edwards. “We realize there’s more work to be done in Saskatoon.”

FULL STORY

PS: if you feel a bit of deja vu it is because I blogged about this same award two years ago! Then again, nothing ever changes in SK. Keep on tryin' Abbottsford!

SASKATCHEWAN NEWS FLASH

2010-07-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

In other parts of the world, the news headline of the day might focus on the gulf oil leak, flooding killing hundreds in China, Mel Gibson freaking out on tape, or Lindsay Lohan going to jail.

But not in Saskatchewan. There, other things are important enough to people to make the front page. Thank the Saskatoon Star Phoenix.

PS: what is with the generic coffee cup? Could they not find a Timmies cup for the photo? It's not like they can't be found lying in any street in Stoon. *sign*

Pissing Away more Potential Tax Revenue

2010-06-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

If it wasn’t for Canwest global news media, I would never know what was going on in Saskatchewan – and thankfully so. So I curse the media when I see Saskatchewan-related news items pop up on the website for my local newspaper. Like a car crash, I can’t help but look. Such was the case today when I came across a story chronicling the latest chapter in the long sad story that is Saskatoon’s pet laws.

Some context:
In case you don’t know, Saskatchewan loves tax as much as anchorman Ron Burgundy loves scotch.

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...

An example of this is the fact that Saskatoon is one of the few jurisdictions where one is taxed every year for having a cat or dog. You have to buy a licence for your pet and put a tag on it – or face big fines. Although the bylaw is almost never enforced (ask any cat owner if they buy a licence for Mr. Socks. Half will say no and the other half will stare at you blankly not knowing what you’re even talking about). The licensing really serves no purpose other than to grab tax money but more importantly, try to scare residents into containing their pets. If memory serves me correctly, fines are issued any time your dog or cat walks off your property and onto another’s. The only difference is that a licensed pet receives a smaller fine. Pets are apparently supposed to observe and abide by surveyor’s pins in Sask.

Some more context:
I have written elsewhere on this blog about Saskatoon’s dog feces problem. Even though it a finable offence, dog owners in SK apparently think that it is within their rights to let their dogs shit all over anything and everything. I used to know when spring had arrived in Saskatoon by the massive piles of dog shit that thawed out and lay exposed all over public parks and my yard. Believe me when I say it is better to step in frozen than fresh dog shit.

Here the [poop] scoop:
I got a chuckle out of the latest buffoonery from city hall. Apparently they have been debating whether to pass a bylaw outlawing dog urination on private property.

City council ultimately decided not to pass such a law. But not because dog piss isn’t damaging to property or that it's a problem in the city, but because enforcement of the law would be too difficult. LOL. How rich. This is the same city hall that enacted the pet licence law and the dog feces law, neither of which are enforceable or enforced. *face palm here*

I don’t know what’s more amazing: the inconsistency in which the city laws are made or the fact that Saskatoon passed on the opportunity to find a new way to collect tax from citizens. What a shit--I mean piss show.

Pay to Get Rough Ridden

2010-05-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

It's been reported before: in Saskatchewan, politics and sports aren't just friendly pals, they boldly go hand in hand. So this news shouldn't come as any surprise: the Saskatchewan government announced today that they are issuing special Saskatchewan Roughrider license plates to commemorate their beloved provincial CFL football team. It wouldn't seem so illegal if the practice wasn’t the accepted norm in SK.

To anyone who has lived in the Rectangle of Regression, this cannot come as a surprise. The Roughriders are so openly-loved in Saskatchewan to the point that it's just plain awkward. Rider fans are known as the Rider Nation. They have Rider Pride. They like it rough. They fly colours. If one didn't know about this infamous CFL team, one might assume this is all part of some elaborate same-sex rights campaign. Well, it's not - at least as far as I know - but the motions are the same.

The commemorative plates come in several varieties. Be sure to ask for these specific ones when you visit SGI!

More SK License Plates

2010-05-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

You know summer is coming when you start to see Saskatchewan license plates in BC. I don’t know what is more amazing – the fact that a Pontiac automobile made the journey all the way across the Rocky Mountains without blowing up, or the fact that the same people who never tip more than 10% for a meal will pay the extra fee to get personalized plates. More on this topic to come....

What a Watrousity

2010-05-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

If you grew up in Saskatchewan you’re pretty likely to have been to Watrous at some point in your life – the home of Manitou Springs Hotel and Spa. This spa is a fixture in the province, located on the shore of a salt lake in the middle of nowhere. It consists of a series of indoor pools pumped full of heated lake water. The water is very high in salt content and therefore buoyant, so one can float around effortlessly on the surface much like in the Dead Sea. Manitou’s water contains minerals that is said to have special health-giving properties.

Like so many things in Saskatchewan, the unfortunate part is in the execution. Instead of this spa being a world class resort offering a luxury getaway, it is a run-down and shabby dump that has to be seen to be believed.

The hotel’s promotional picture:

Here's what it really looks like:

As you can see, the “healing waters” are the colour of urine. Worse, the pools are never cleaned so they have a coating of black muck on them, so much that one cannot see the bottom or sides of the pool. To top it all off, seniors seem to love to flock to the spa, so much that on any given day, you will find hoards of old people in swimsuits floating around motionless on their backs. It's actually a lot like that bathtub scene from the movie The Shining.

Saskatchewan's Dead Sea

Scary.

I went to Watrous in my younger years and my experiences there were not exactly like those one might get on a vacation, say, at Disneyland. I distinctly remember recoiling at the sight of the yellow water and the flotillas of senior-submarines creepily bobbing around like motionless cadavers. When I mustered the courage to actually go into the pool, I got a burning feeling all over my body from the water. It was truly gross.

Why am I mentioning all this now? This month, Saskatchewan health officials closed the facility down, citing health risks. Apparently the pool’s filtering system has not been functioning properly for years and management has repeatedly failed to fix the problem. Now visitors of the hotel are stuck in a town with nothing else to do. Perhaps even worse, seniors across the province have nowhere to do the deadman float. Don't worry though, no-one will complain. This is Saskatchewan, after all.

Now that Manitou spa is closed, as is the former garbage dump turned ski hill known as Blackstrap, where will vacationing Saskatchewaners go?

0 to 100 in a century, flat

2010-05-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

Well, storms, floods, and locusts must be approaching, as I recently heard that Saskatoon is getting a Porsche dealership. The story says that it is a sign that the city is "growing up."

I’m not sure which is the funnier part about this story: 1) the fact that a city as big as Saskatoon doesn’t have a Porsche dealership yet, or 2) the fact that someone would suggest that the city is in fact “growing up.”

Maybe it’s the latter. Keep in mind that Saskatoon is a city over a hundred years old. This would mean that the city is about the slowest to develop in Canada. To use a metaphor, the city is akin to a full-grown adult who hates baths and still plays with Tonka trucks. Or, to be more precise, John Deere tractor toys.

No doubt, Saskatchewan is the most handy-capable province in Canada but I’m not going to dwell on that here. Nor am I going to debate the principle whether Saskatchewan should have a Porsche dealership at all (contrary to socialist doctrine).

Rather, I’m dedicating this post to celebrating the real automobile that symbolizes Saskatchewan: the Pontiac Sunfire. I don’t care if Porsches start rolling down 2nd Ave by the hundreds. No turbo 911 will ever displace the Sunfire as the official pace car of Saskatchewan. The province is Sunfire country, baby, and never forget it!

Enjoy the images below of these beauties, taken from the local used classifieds.

Buy it now and the owner will throw in a sweet 1990s colour splash

Sweet! The door works on this one.

Sunfires look best when you kneel down to look at them…. with your eyes closed that is.

Terrible colour – you’ll never find your car at a wheat field party.

Wash your car before selling it? Pah! Not in Saskatchewan! That might be precius potash dust.

The seats may be vinyl but the steering wheel is 100% genuine cowhide. The owner should know, he killed the cow himself

One of these two vehicles is still running. HINT: it doesnt rhyme with Sunfire.

For women in SK, driving a white Sunfire is akin to wearing white at a wedding. Purity.

Just like the car in Knight Rider – no human brain required to drive it.

Comes with subs – guaranteed to pump out Nickelback like no-one’s business.

He has the internet now

2010-04-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

I must admit I have a new guilty pleasure that keeps me looking back to Saskatchewan, the place where they got the thematic inspiration for the movie, The Land Before Time.

I am speaking of Jim Pankiw’s new website. http://www.jimpankiw.ca/

You can see my earlier blog post below to get the low-down on this former MP representing Saskatchewan. This embattled warrior is back and he’s ready to fight the forces of racism against Whites. Yes, you read that correctly. Racism, against Whites.

I don’t think Mr. Pankiw really knows what racism means as he is best known for delivering inflammatory rants and public tirades against native people, and even for trying to pick a fight with a native lawyer at a bar while intoxicated. His actions got him ejected from the Conservative Party, spurned by the press, and eventually voted out of office. Looks like even those people in Humboldt have their limits.

It’s pretty clear that Pankiw has only one agenda or interest in politics and that is to cast aspersions against native people. In his eyes, they are treated with lavish favour and privilege. Clearly, he’s never driven through a reserve before.

Pankiw’s new website is a sight to behold. It features pictures of parliament and him in a gun-slinging stance, thumb in his waist, ready to kick ass. On the site you can read all about him, ask him questions, post on a forum, read hate mail he’s received, and even donate to his cause to get re-elected as an independent. It used to have an intro movie playing to the tune “Back in Black” by AC/DC but I see that is no longer. I guess Mr. Pankiw discovered what a copyright is after getting a call from a lawyer.

"Larger than Parliament" Pankiw (not actual size)

My personal favourite part of his website is a collection of quotes from his time in the House of Commons. He used to regularly ask questions about why the Canadian system is so baised against whites. Most entertaining are the responses he elicits from the ministers, much more than his questions. I’ve including some below for your entertainment.

In response to Pankiw’s question on:

The Public Service

Hon. Joe Jordan (Parliamentary Secretary to the President of the Treasury Board, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, a good question deserves a good answer. That was not a good question.

Hon. Denis Coderre (President of the Queen's Privy Council for Canada, Federal Interlocutor for Métis and Non-Status Indians, Minister responsible for la Francophonie and Minister responsible for the Office of Indian Residential Schools Resolution, Lib.): He should be ashamed of spouting such nonsense.

Official Languages

Hon. Reg Alcock (President of the Treasury Board and Minister responsible for the Canadian Wheat Board, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I often find the member's questions somewhat offensive and, frankly, this is no exception.

Aboriginal Affairs

Hon. Irwin Cotler (Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I reject the implication in the question about a racist two-tier sentencing scheme.

Hon. Andy Mitchell (Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, those comments are utter nonsense.

Hon. Irwin Cotler (Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, once again the hon. member proceeds by castigating aspersions of a racist character, and I will not answer those questions.

Hon. Robert Nault (Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, it is unfortunate and I can understand why even the Alliance does not want that member in its caucus.

On Fisheries:

Hon. Robert Thibault (Minister of Fisheries and Oceans, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I assume the member is an expert on racism because he speaks to it often.

Want more? You can read them all here:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, move to Saskatchewan

2010-03-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

It’s safe to say that Saskatchewan was not ready for the housing boom that started a few years ago. Within the span of months, the provincial real estate market heated up as hordes of property speculators came in and bought up what seemed like bargain real estate prices compared to elsewhere. Of course, nearly all of these speculators were former Saskatchewaners themselves, people who had left the province in earlier decades to make small fortunes in Alberta and BC. It felt like in a Poltergeist movie when they all started coming home. “They’re baaaaaack!”

I remember how housing prices went up 60% in one year alone. My house went up in value by nearly $100,000. I said it then and I say it now: it made sense as people were paying more to live in the same place with no other discernible benefits. I still can’t decide whether the stranger thing at the time was the fact that prices could go up in SK or that people were voluntarily moving to the province.

This brings me to the topic of this post: rent controls. You see, the effect of the real estate boom on rental properties was particularly felt. All of a sudden, rental homes began to be converted and sold. Then with no new rental suites being constructed, the city began experiencing low single digit rental vacancies.

Saskatchewan has no rent controls. So what happened next could have been predicted. Owners began to jack up rent prices to take advantage of high demand or as a way to evict renters in hopes of selling. I knew people who faced hundreds of dollars in rent increases in one month. And where was the NDP govt on this issue?

Nowhere.

To make things worse, no-one in the province seemed to care enough to force and change. The result? A lot of people found out what it’s like to live in a garage.

I find it particularly rich that, now in opposition, the SK NDP is calling on the govt to do what they did not in all those years in power: install rent controls.

http://www.leaderpost.com/business/Saskatchewan+calling+provincial+government+impose+rent+control/2713906/story.html

But according to the story, a change is not on the radar for government. And here is the rationale for not doing anything:

Social Services Minister Donna Harpauer stated:

"Because what happens — and studies have shown — where rent controls have been implemented fewer developers will build multi-door units, as well as the landlords will not necessarily maintain the units they have, using the excuse that they don't have enough revenue from those units," Harpauer told reporters.

Apparently, Ms. Harpauer has no idea what has been taking place in the hottest real estate markets in Canada. Both BC and Ontario have had rent controls for years. And have they inhibited new development or resulted in dilapidation? No! Vancouver and Toronto remain the most expensive places to live in Canada. Rack up another giant DUH for SK.

One Bad Party

2010-03-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

Note: A commentator on this site pointed me towards this story featuring good ol’ Saskatchewan. It’s a bit late coming but, by popular demand….

Where were you when the planes hit the Twin Towers on 9/11? I bet it wasn’t partying down at a pig roast…. that is, unless you live in Martensville, Saskatchewan.

Saskatoon Star Phoenix - Sask. Party burned by 9/11 image

FULL STORY

The story is this: someone in the Sask Party constituency association for Martensville released a poster for a fundraiser featuring an image of the 9/11 World Trade Center exploding just as the second plane hit it. The kicker was that–get ready for it—the event was a pig roast for a firefighter who survived the attacks.

I know Saskatchewan is a long way from New York and Afghanistan but the stupidity of this defies logic. They might as well have used the slogan “We’ll have a real knock-em down good time,” or “Get fired up with us,” or “Come go hog-wild at this barn-burner.” And the people at the Star Phoenix are no better by going with the headline “Sask. Party burned by 9/11 image.” Once again, I am reminded why the Star Phoenix is the Daniel Baldwin of the Canwest media empire family: thin on talent and not-so pretty to look at.

Personally, I don’t think any image of 9/11 is suitable for any advertising (unless you are trying to sell air mile Visa cards to Al-Qaeda) but this is Saskatchewan after all. Martensville for that matter –which essentially is a suburb of Saskatoon that provides absolutely nothing memorable to see or stop at as you drive your Sunfire north to Waskesu. Well Martensville, you’re officially on the map now! This means that they will now have to put up a giant roadside attraction. Let’s hope they learned a lesson and it has nothing to do with 9/11.

He’s Baaaaaaaaack!

2010-02-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

Jim Pankiw. What else can I say? This infamous Saskatchewaner is known everywhere as Canada’s most openly-racist politician. In parts of Saskatchewan, however, he is hailed as some kind of folk hero, a dare-to-tell-the-truth warrior, valiantly fighting the good fight against the evil political correctness police. Never mind the fact that he has the IQ of a gopher hole and a hatred for aboriginal people that makes my dislike of Saskatchewan look like Mother Theresa’s work in Africa. His only political platform is a dislike of native people and he's more tan willing to talk about it. Apparently this is all you need to get elected in Saskatchewan. While not everyone in the province likes him, he certainly has a legendary following among many. He also seems to have no trouble getting local press. Boy, is that a sad thing.

Jim "Workin' Hard" Pankiw

Many thought that Mr. Pankiw’s political career was over after he lost his seat in the House of Commons and then came in third in the Saskatoon mayoralty race. But like a bad case of jock itch, he is back, and with a vengeance. He announced a few days ago that he will be running in the next federal election as an independent.

http://www.thestarphoenix.com/news/Pankiw+announces+return+politics+says+doesn+need+media+federal+riding/2522595/story.html
(check out the video and the comments section)

I’m reluctant to poke too much fun at Mr. Pankiw – if you watch the full video it seems pretty clear that he is either suffering from a mental illness or is indeed intoxicated, as one suspecting reported asked him (see 10:05). Still, I can’t help but find it hilarious that he claims to “have the internet now,” that he invited the media to hear him speak just to “rub it in their face,” and that he equates native headdress with a KKK Klansmen hood. Apparently wearing anything on your head makes you a racist by his logic. I also love how he nearly forgot to mention the reason for calling the press conference in the first place, that is until the very end. And to think - when I lived in SK, I thought Maurice Vellacott was a nut!

Sask Party Political Attack Ad Tells the TRUTH (Can you handle it?)

2010-01-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

The Sask Party have released a new attack ad focusing on Lingenfelter (For those of you out of the loop, Lingenfelter is not some new type of stinky cheese - it is the name of the current leader of the New Democratic Party in SK).

The ad is a real doozy that Saskies will get to watch on their TV screens over the next few months while it runs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPGRMk0h0vg

Let me be clear that I am no fan of either the Sask Party or "house band" NDP in Saskatchewan. I have a strict policy of equal opportunity scorn when it comes to SK political parties. Furthermore, I have stated here before my dislike of Brad Wall’s Fred Durst wannabe sideburns and Lorne Calvert’s heinous mug as the face of government for all those years. Heck, I still sometimes wake up from the occasional nightmare involving the ex-premier’s face chasing me around in a wheat field… although the fright may just as well come from the thought of having to live in Saskatchewan again.

The Sask Party attack ad is a real gem. It starts by saying:

“Ever since he moved back from Alberta, Dwain Lingenfelter has been running down Saskatchewan.”

The next part lists a series of ostensibly damning quotes from Lingenfelter.

“These [Saskatchewan] people are grumpy.”
“Our economy is in free fall”
“We have gone from boom to bust”
The Premier is a “loser”

The ad ends with the statement:

“Dwain Lingenfelter. No new ideas... down on Saskatchewan.”

So these are not new ideas? Grumpy people, a bombing economy, and a loser for a Premier are old hat in Saskatchewan? Actually, now that I think about it, Lingenfelter's comments provide very true descriptions of what it is like in SK, the place I call the “rectangle of regression.” Could this be the most accurate political attack ad ever made? Maybe it is not an attack ad at all, but a documentary on Sask culture, as told by a person who I am sure they will indeed name a cheese after one day.

A few other truisms can also be gleaned from the ad:
-Moving away to live in Alberta (or any other province) is what many people have done (including myself) since life is too unpleasant in Saskatchewan for anything other than gophers and crazy Rider fans. But to Sask people, moving away is akin to an act of treason.

-“Running down Saskatchewan” is something voters can relate to since no-one ever walks anywhere in the province – they only drive (a Sunfire, of course).
-Also, being “down on Saskatchewan” is frowned upon on the ad because it really is a terrible sin to say anything but specious niceties about the province when living in SK. It actually is the 11th commandment in SK: “Thou shalt not be down on Saskatchewan,” followed by the 12th commandment: “Thou shalt not crack jokes about Saskatchewan, ever, never, wherever.”

Oh, Father, I have sinned….

Tillman Resigns - A Provincial Day of Mourning

2010-01-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well, Eric Tillman has done something the Saskatchewan justice system obviously could not: dish up a penalty for the sexual assault of his sixteen year old babysitter. In case you missed the news, Tillman was charged and found guilty of the charge of sexual assault. The judge, however, discharged Tillman with no penalty or criminal record, a sure sign that Rider management get the royal treatment in SK. That is, when they are not busy playing hut the ball with their babysitters.

So the supreme il duce leader of the Roughrider Nation will no longer serve as the team’s GM. I’ve been watching this story from afar and am glad to see that somebody had watermelons enough to do the right thing. He learned the hard way that you can work for the Roughriders but you can’t Roughride those who work for you.

I’ve been watching the fallout at the Rider Nation headquarters - http://www.riderfans.com/forum The reaction there is mixed at least, but more than a fair share of fans are angry to see a resignation. In addition to refuting the seriousness of the crime, they see no problem with Tillman staying on as GM. Sad.

So what’s next for Tillman? Who cares, really but I have five bucks saying he’ll shack up with another person who screwed Saskatchewan – Kent Austin – and film a sequel to Swingers. Gotta love them babies.

You can take them out of Saskatchewan but you can't take the Saskatchewan out of them

2010-01-07T21:08:00.000-08:00

While it is true that I am an ex-pat who still loves to take shots at the province, I am NOT this guy!

Sask. ex-pat kept hunting in province, now faces fines
Used health ID to get big game licences

The StarPhoenix January 3, 2010

It was February of 2003 when Brian Larson left Saskatchewan for greener pastures in Alberta.

His Saskatchewan Health card expired a few months later -- but Larson held onto the number printed on it, and in 2005, 2006 and 2007, it allowed him to keep the same big game hunting privileges as any true resident of his home province. He used his father's post office box in the town of Brock as his "address" when filling out applications.

Conservation officers caught up to Larson on May 6, 2008, when they searched his uncle's farm near the small town of Mankota and seized six sets of antlers from whitetail and mule deer -- three from the farmhouse, two more from an outbuilding and one from a grain bin. FULL STORY

Rider GM Eric Tillman Gets Off..... The Hook, That Is....

2010-01-05T20:34:00.000-08:00

In Saskatchewan, the word “Riders” is holy logos. People in the province won’t be able to tell you who their Lieutenant Governor is, but be damned sure they will be able to recite the entire starting lineup for their beloved Roughriders CFL football team. It’s a religion. And Rider coaching and management staff? They are royalty. And I don’t mean the quaint and nice type of royalty like Princess Di you find on ornamental plates; I mean the dirty, lecherous, power-hungry, hubris-soaked kind of royals you read about in Shakespearean plays.

*Enter stage right: General Manager of the Riders, Eric Tillman.*

Is it any real surprise that Mr. Tillman got off the hook for sexually assaulting a sixteen year old girl? The very foundation of Rider Pride was shaken to its core when allegations surfaced last year that he sexually assaulted a young girl. People in Saskatchewan were in shock. How could it be? Could the man with a hairdo that they modeled Chia-Pets and curling shoe cleaners after, could do such a thing? But one can never underestimate the commitment of Rider fans to their team and supreme leader. As of last month, the vast majority of Rider fans polled (obviously still delirious with denial) said “Keep Tillman on,” and regardless of the outcome of the trial. Then again, what else would one expect from people who make watermelons look smart when they are both seen together.

Tillman went on to plead guilty and apologized, yet also maintained that he had no memory of the incident due to medication he was on (most likely anti-depressants since he has to live in SK). And we find out today that he now has been given an absolute discharge and will have no criminal record thereafter. Just lovely. And during the so-called sentencing, he didn’t even have to sit in the prisoner’s box like any other accused – he was allowed to sit with his counsel. Talk about preferential treatment.

In the end, the judge deemed the incident “out of character” for Tillman. Good grief, are they close drinking buddies or something? The judge might as well have dismissed the charge as treasonous and a contravention to the [Rider] national interest. The judge could have also put his rider jersey and a water melon on his head to announce the judgement – then bust out a keg of 'Pil for all!

In the end, I’m sure people in SK will be cheering this mockery of justice, the same way they cheered on former Rider coach Kent Austin when he screwed the team again and skipped town for a better job in the US after one year. They really should change the Rider cheer to “Wham Bam Thank You M’am!” It would have to replace the current cheer “Riders Grey Cup! Next year FER-SURE!”

I bet Mr. Tillman will even join the ranks of Grant Devine one day and receive the prestigious Order of Merit for his deeds. Now, if only Saskies knew who handed Order of Merits out.

GO RIDERS..... GO AWAY, THAT IS!

2009-11-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

Well the Grey Cup is in Calgary this Sunday and the Riders somehow have made into the final. I am so glad I am not in the province to have to endure the crazed Rider fans. It is hard to explain to people the religious zeal people there have for their CFL team. If only Saskies took the same pride and passion that they have for the Riders to actually improve the province.... oh well.

As long as I lived there, I never was part of the "Rider Nation." This is likely because I could never pass the immigration test. It involves drinking a case of 'Pil all to yourself, putting a watermelon helmet on your head, painting your vehicle green, and doing burn outs in a wheat field with your Sunfire to spell out "RIDER PRIDE." Once you do this and get your papers, you then get to enjoy the benefits of citizenship, which is bascailly paying ridiculous prices to watch the Riders in Commonwealth Stadium (usually losing).

The following images are my annotated top five reasons to avoid being in Calgary this weekend.

The mascot in Saskatchewan is a gopher. Gophers are the scourge of the Prairies since they wreak havoc on crops and dig holes all over the place which can injure people and livestock. Kids shoot these pests for fun. Yet they chose to have this vermin as their mascot. Apparently, having a giant gopher dancing around the legislative chamber floor is an acceptable part of the parliamentary process in SK.

More people are injured in Saskatchewan from watermelon carving incidents than any other thing in Saskatchewan. Five seconds after this photo was taken, this man was halfway there to an appendectomy.

The scary thing about this fellow is that he did this to himself, trying to crush a can on his head.

Saskatchewan Transformers. Run for your lives!

Concussion, from the Latin term concussus ("action of striking together"), is the most common type of traumatic brain injury. The terms mild brain injury, mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI), mild head injury (MHI), and minor head trauma and concussion may be used interchangeably.

Fall in Saskatchewan

2009-10-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

It is so nice NOT living in Saskatchewan, especially at this time of year.

My memories of fall in SK – although I must preface my comments with the fact that there is no such thing as a fall season there (only summer and winter) – are a painful recollection of the following:

1) Waiting in line at the mechanic shop to get snow tires put on. The entire population of Sask waits until now to get snow tires put on. Go to Canadian Tire or any tire shop at this time of year and you can expect to wait hour after hour to get your tires put on. You will be sitting so long in the waiting room that you’ll be able to read an entire year’s worth of Tractor Digest Magazine (#1 best seller in Saskatchewan)

2) Waiting too long to put up the outdoor Christmas lights. It can get so cold so fast in SK that if you wait too long, you simply can’t put up lights. Imagine standing on a ladder in -40 degree weather trying to hammer in funny little light hangers with gloves on. It can’t be done!

3) Forgetting to bring in the garden hose before the cold sets in. It’s bad enough dragging in a heavy stiff hose full of frozen water. It’s worse when that water melts in your garage and spills all over the place.

4) Not covering up your non-indigenous annuals with straw or leaves. One overnight cold snap can kill all of those beautiful flowers you planted that spring. Kiss away that $200 you spent on bulbs at Home Depot.

5) Halloween: where you get to spend $50 on candy to give out to 15 year olds up to 10:00pm on Halloween. Only in Saskatchewan is trick-or-treating considered acceptable well into puberty. Be warned: if you question their age, expect to wake up with egg all over your house.

6) Canadian Tire flyers. Expect a steady stream of sales of the following for the next 6 months: sidewalk salt, Sorel boots, snow shovels, winter tire sales, battery warmers, etc… you get the point. The sheer volume of the Canadire Tire flyers that came through my door is culprit for major global deforestation. It also exacerbates the need for curbside recycling in Saskatoon, something the mayor think isn't necessary, and he is not alone.

7) My car in pain. Automobiles were not made for Prairie winters (nor were sane humans) and it starts to show this time of year. Expect your vehicle to creak and groan in pain as the cold sets in. Sounds like the Titanic must have as it slipped below the icy Atlantic. In SK be sure to not leave your care outside for too long or your tires will get a flat spot and you’ll get treated to a bumpy ride home, that is, if you can start it in the first place (should have bought that battery warmer from Canadian Tire after all!)

8) Those fugly xmas decorations on College St Bridge. Imagine horrible ugly tinsel from 1980 formed into the shape of poinsettias. Then add 29 years worth of road grime, dirt, and salt. These beauties are strung from the light post all across the bridge and they stay there nearly until the spring. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

R.I.P Garbage Dump Ski Hill

2009-10-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well, it saddens me to see read last week that the infamous Blackstrap Ski Hill -- a giant mound of garbage converted into a ski hill -- is being permanently closed.

(to non-Saskies: no, this is not a joke post. There really is such a thing there.)

According to the story, the government failed to find a private owner and is thus closing the facility and selling off the assets.

Who knows the real story behind this all, and whether a real attempt was made to keep the "Whistler of the Prairies" afloat. I personally think this ski hill should have been privatized long ago, and if this was not possible to achieve (which I am suspsect was the case as the story suggests) it should have been closed many years earlier.

There is hope though - as long as the city is opposed to the adoption of a recycling program, the garbage dump will continue to grow. Don't think of it as wasteful dumping ina landfill - think of it as a ski hill development opportunity!

Oh well. Polish off those cross country skis!

R.I.P. Blackstrap and wasteful govt subsidization!

Why Saskatooners say NO to recycling: It's GARBAGE!

2009-10-21T07:55:00.001-07:00

Below are ccomments written in response to the Star Phoenix story noted in my previous post on local resistance to the adoption of a curbside recycling pickup program in Saskatoon. As you can see, at least some locals are still opposed to the creation of a recycling program, including the mayor himself.

For those of you not from the rectangle of regression, these comments give you insight into the mindset that exists there (all typos and idiocy are original).

You can't make this stuff up!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

td

How is recycling any good?
You drive a car to the drop off bins.
Before you tree huugers types told me not to use a car. Now you say go to recycle bins. Make up your mind.
I will not pay to have some body pick up recyles.
I'll just put them in the garbage and save money and gas

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Monty

It is still unsightly, I do not want to see garbage on the front curbs. I like the idea of bins located around the city. Drop off your recycles, then go shopping. Best example is the green bin behind the grocery store on Main and Broadway. Before you shove something else down my mouth like River Landing, give me some options. Recycling is a good thing, but also keep in mind the company that does this produces materials they sell. So why does the recycle company get to double dip? Maybe if these goods were as valuable as we are lead to believe then the recycle company should pay us for our garbage. Last, we all ready have taxes imposed on us at point of purchase to cover the garbage cost from deposits to flat out garbage tax like the new one on computers. Why is this money not re directed back to recycling pick up? Governments are fast to take money from us and we are fast to forget about it untill the day we wake up broke. It isn't that an extra $12 will kill me, but I have lived here for all my life and have just made enough to get by. That $12 should be going into an RRSP or it will be your children paying for me as an old timer.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Anonymous

Blue boxes; where I get to pay some one to take my garbage, to in turn obtain raw materials to make a profit while I pay the city to pick up my garbage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mark

Instead of this why not have bins at designated drop off depots in numerous spots where we can take our recycle goods? This works fine in other cities.
I also dislike looking at peoples garbage sitting on the curb.

Just say NO to recycling

2009-10-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Most Canadians would agree that recycling is an accepted practice, a part of our daily way of life. We reuse what we can to minimize what we put into landfills and impact our landscape. In the age of global warming, most would agree that we are obligated to do what we can to limit our environmental impact. Alas, not so in Saskatoon. There, the raging debate of the day is whether to start curbside recycling pickup.

*sound of a record needle screeching*

Yep. In the ever-proud "Paris of the Prairies," the current hot municipal topic of the day is whether or not City Hall will start curb side recycling pick up. You see, Saskatoon does not have any form of recycling pickup service currently. If you want to recycle your glass, tin, or paper items, you have two options:

1- drive your car (creating emissions) to depots (mostly located on the outskirts of town) to drop off these goods.
2-pay an annual fee for a private company (~$120 a year) to come by your house to pick up your recyclables.

Right now, the mayoral race is debating whether to start curbside pickup. http://www.thestarphoenix.com/technology/City+eyes+recycling+plan+mayor/2095341/story.html And incumbent Don Atcheson is opposed to the plan. Isnt that lovely. Am I ever glad to not live in 'Toontown' any more. What a joke! What is this 1980? Nope, it's Saskatoon, where unfortunately, yes, it's still 1980.

Only in SK is recycling seen as a bad thing. Might as well say that global warming is a fiction. Then again, Saskies likely dont even know what global warming is. Those people might as well make an impassioned argument about how recycling is an impediment to the development of local ski hill development (for those of you not from SK, the local ski hill in Saskatoon is a former garbage dump. Imagine: a frozen pile of garbage....... then wake up screaming).

When I lived in Saskatoon, I remember throwing away countless glass jars, tin cans, bottles, and all sorts of recyclable items in the trash. I felt bad about it until I got used to it. After a while I didnt even bother crushing the cans. Stores that sell containers dont even accept them back for deposit. Instead you have to drive to Sarcan to wait in a horrbile line in a stinky hellhole full of bums and rusty shopping carts... and in the end you get less deposit that what you even paid! What, am I supposed to look upon it as a stupidity tax?

When in Rome anyone? Every house in Stoon gets a giant garbage container for trash (I now see apartments here in BC with the same size container for several suites) so why the hell not. It encourages people to throw away things that might be diverted from landfills and who know, converted into maybe useful things again! What a novel thought!

Good luck, Don - this rivals the time to delivered a racist rant at the First Nations University about "Indians" as part of your campaign strategy. You got elected then so I expect you to get re-elected by the masses with your anti-recycling policies. Saskatchewan looks like it is not quite ready to give up its title as one of Canada's worst poluuters. Long live the 1980s!

Grant Devine to Receive Order of Merit? WTF???

2009-10-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

During all my years I thought that the Order of Merit was something special, something given to people of.... well.... merit. Not in Saskatchewan.

Enter disgraced former premier Grant Devine:

This is the man who:

-presided over one of the largest scandals perpetrated by a Canadian government
-racked up the provincial debt like no other and nothing to show for it
-ruined the Conservative Party in SK
-liked to make anti-gay slurs

Today, it was announced that he is going to receive the Order of Merit. I know it's hard to believe so read the official news release yourself: http://www.gov.sk.ca/news?newsId=aadc9fa0-c095-4f9e-a066-9c2ac59d255f

I never had much respect for Saskatchewan Party leader and now Premier Brad Wall, an opinion shaped solely by his decision to keep his Fred Durst wanna-be sideburns after becoming premier. Now I have none.

This just goes to show where the Saskatchewan Party's loyalties lie..... Political patronage at it's worst. What next - give Brian Mulroney the Order of Canada??? DOH!

What an embarrassment!

Top Ten Survival Tips for Ex-Pat Saskatchwaners:

2009-08-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Having lived out of the province for long enough, I’ve assembled a list of survival tips for Saskatchewan ex-pats. If you are considering the move out of the rectangle of regression, read these carefully or run the risk of appearing like a fish out of water, kind of like Brendan Fraser in Encino Man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xkTN1Z1rTQ

1) Immediately ditch the t-shirt with the dumb sayings on the front (i.e. “Not everything on the prairies is flat,” “Baba gave me beer money,” anything with a John Deere logo, etc.) Wearing these shirts will blow your cover.
2) Learn to enjoy the mountains. Don’t worry – the “Lions” in Vancouver are not real lions.
3) Enjoy the exotic delights of the fresh fish section of a grocery store. Yes, all those strange creatures are edible.
4) Feel reassured that the entire provincial economy doesn’t depend solely on potash, and its plummeting prices.
5) Don’t ask for a “Pil” at the bar. They not know what you mean, and perhaps this is best.
6) Forget what a “bunnyhug” is. Non-Saskies will not know what you speak of, and again, this is prolly best.
7) There are a LOT of ex-Saskatchewan’ers in other provinces. When you meet one such ex-pat, be sure to laud how wonderful Saskatchewan is, but and then agree that you will ever go back for any reason. Ever.
8) Go to a BC Lions home game. See for yourself what asses Rider fans can be when they are out of their element. Indeed, getting smash drunk and wearing a watermelon on your head isn’t so funny when you’re the only one.
9) Don’t be afraid to take the bus. BC’s major cities have well-developed public transit systems. But don’t worry about taking the bus – taking public transit in BC is perfectly normal and is not akin to saying “I wish I could afford a Sunfire but can’t.”
10) Never start a conversation by saying, “How great would it be to have an NDP government again.” You may not like the responses you get.

These tips will help you to recover from the memory of Saskatchewan. Purge it from your mind. Soon it will be forgotten like a horrible, horrible dream.

An Un-Fond Farewell

2009-04-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

To all my loyal readers: the time has come for me to bid adieu to this wretched province. Like so many before me, I am leaving Saskatchewan for another province - BC to be exact. I hear it is the best place on earth so I consider the move a slight upgrade. Maybe Saskatchewan should consider changing its license plate motto to something more accurate like:

Saskatchewan: We Apologize in Advance
Saskatchewan: A Great Place to Drive Through
Saskatchewan: At Least It Can't Get any Worse
Saskatchewan: Come and Live the Nightmare
Saskatchewan: Yes, the Jokes are All True
Saskatchewan: Take the Smorgasboard Tour
Saskatchewan: Sunfire Hotspot
Saskatchewan: Canada's Heart Disease Sanctuary
Saskatchewan: Imagine a Broke Alberta
Saskatchewan: Atkins Diet Killed Our Economy!
Saskatchewan: Canada's Largest Retirement Home
Saskatchewan: Canadian Tire's Parish
Saskatchewan: Seafood is Against the Law
Saskatchewan: And I Thought You Were Kidding About This Place!
Saskatchewan: Where the History is more Interesting than the Future
Saskatchewan: Kill me Please!
Saskatchewan: It's Just like the Movie: The Village

and of course....
Saskatchewan: The Worst Place on Earth

So long!

Pay to Live in Saskatchewan?

2009-03-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

News Story 24-Mar-2009 Vancouver Sun

Saskatchewan to harvest graduates

Recent Toronto university and college graduates hard-hit by tuition debt and bleak job opportunities in the economic recession will be offered some relief -- to the tune of $20,000 each -- when a team of Saskatchewan politicians visits the city next week. All they have to do is move to Saskatchewan.
As part of a special mission to Toronto, the Saskatchewan government will announce an incentive program for post-secondary graduates who relocate to Saskatchewan for a minimum of seven years. The program is part of the province's aggressive effort to fill thousands of jobs currently available in Saskatchewan, despite the recession.
Next week's mission will consist of a contingent of about 25 representatives from the province, including Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall and the mayors of Saskatoon and Regina, who will pitch employment opportunities in the province.

* * *

So Saskatchewan is so desperate for people that it is now willing to buy immigrants? But I thought people were moving back to the homeland in droves?!? What gives? Did all of the family already come back?

Let me see if I have this straight: 20,000 in incentives over seven years for new immigrants…..that works out to less than $3,000 a year for seven years. What a joke! I would pay that much NOT to have to move back to Saskatchewan. Plus seven years in Saskatchewan is about as long as a life sentence. This offer reminds me of a prison scene out of Cool Hand Luke: "Sometimes," Paul Newman's character states, "nothing is a real cool hand"

The government might as well offer other cool “perks” such as:

Free snow!
Over-inflated real estate prices!
Free bag of perogies for every new migrant!*
Unlimited taxation!
Overpriced home rental costs!
10% off all smorgasboards (West side only)
All the muffin tops you want!**

*sour cream not included.
**actual muffins are excluded from this offer.

Seriously though, what kind of enticement is 3,000 a year? Why not offer a real amount to entice people to move and for a more reasonable period? Saskatchewan sure has done a great job up to this point of offering reasons NOT to live in the province.

Sadly I will not be participating in this program, but not that my love for the Great Buffet of China could ever diminish.

Saskatoon's Boom..... Not Quite

2008-07-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

More proof in the Star Phoenix that Saskatoon's so-called boom is anything but--the money numbers might say one thing but demographics say another... people are STILL leaving the province by the thousands! The ship might not be sinking still but the rats--or prairie dogs perhaps--are still fleeing! Get out while you can!

from: http://www.canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/news/story.html?id=4c0536a2-24b0-40d6-9cc7-e87c286159a9

City population sinks: Estimate shows decline of 2,000 people since Jan. 2007

Rod Nickel, The StarPhoenixPublished: Thursday, July 24, 2008

Slow down that swagger, Saskatoon. The economy may be booming, but those counting heads suggest that doesn't mean the population is doing the same. The most recent estimate of Saskatoon's population from a Toronto analytics firm caused jaws to drop in the city planning department when it reported a decrease of 2,000 people between January 2007 and spring of this year to about 212,000 in the city proper. Anyone, including city officials, watching new neighbourhoods fill in and traffic back up might be skeptical that 2,000 souls have gone missing.
"We talked to (the firm) and said, 'We find this surprising,' " said Bill Holden, manager of the city's research and information resource centre. "They said, based on the stuff we do, that's the number we got."

More reasons why Saskatchewan sucks

2008-07-22T20:18:00.001-07:00

Why I hate SASKATCHEWN (Part Two)

Saskatchewan sucks so much that lists of “worst things” come in multiples. So here’s Volume two of my list of 50 reasons why Saskatchewan sucks. Enjoy!

1) The BUGS (this year silkworms were the vanguard of the mosquito barrage)
2) West Nile (see #1)
3) Tax, Tax, TAX! There’s a bloody tax on everything here! They even have a separate tax to have a fire when you’re camping!
4) It’s incredibly BORING here. Really, there’s jack to do in this province (besides pay tax)
5) The government has to pay for TV ads to convince their own residents that Saskatchewan is a great place to live
6) Ridiculous price of tickets to see CFL game here
7) When you do pay to see a CFL game, one team has to be the RIDERS
8) No hockey team. Who the hell do you cheer for?!?! GO OILJETFLAMES?
9) Anti-Semitism is alive and well here (and the offenders are proud of it!)
10) Any lake below PA stinks to high heaven in summer of sulphur
11) What is considered accepted drinking culture here… well, I guess it can be called that if you consider getting smashed at a public place and making an ass of yourself “culture”
12) People take pride in “their” provincial berry. Jesus Christ, it’s a berry!
13) Everyone has hydrophobia – Don’t go in the RIVER!
14) Shittiest camping areas in Canada (imagine an empty field with parked sunfires and tents)
15) No trout, bass, or salmon fishing—just those fugly jackfish
16) Lorne Calvert’s mug as the face of government (Yes I know he’s gone now but DAMN!)
17) Provincial politics about as interesting to watch as continental plate movement.
18) Social gospel tradition – the worst of both worlds!
19) None of the province’s celebrities from here end up retiring here (Gee, I wonder why!)
20) No strip joints… WTF!
21) People are so damn cheap!
22) People don’t “get it” about Costa Maragos
23) It only has two seasons. Summer (don’t blink) and the 8 month hell-sojourn they call winter
24) So flat people get vertigo when they walk up the 2% incline of Broadway Bridge
25) No passing lanes on highways
26) People won’t pass on highways unless they can see an uninterrupted horizon.
27) The highways are falling apart (until you reach Alberta border—phew!)
28) Can’t fly out of province without a stopover in either Winnipeg or Calgary
29) Government can’t properly manage the lease situation for the garbage dump ski hill so its opens before January..,, or follow the recommendation to privatize it (gasp!)
30) Most overweight province in all of Canada and government does NOTHING about it
31) Candy machines everywhere (see #28)
32) It’s one of the worst polluters in Canada and no-one seems to give a shit
33) Worst health care backlog I’ve seen of all the provinces
34) VLTs every God damn place you go
35) No microbeers… Sorry, Paddockwood is ONE company.
36) Giant ugly roadside “attractions” like a big steel piece of wheat… gee, like you can’t wheat anywhere else in this province!
37) Many people still speak the words NDP and Tommy Douglas as though there still is a connection. The rest complain that the NDP isn’t socialist enough
38) Gay marriage is an issue that gets people riled up here, still [yawn]
39) You have to get your license renewed every year.
40) You can never find road signs showing how many kms to your destination. Are we supposed to enjoy driving in this flat wasteland in and of itself?
41) Murders on the news sometimes follow the 30 min weather forecast. Which is really most important now people?!?!
42) The astronomical price of housing – better get ready for the crash, peeps!
43) Newscasters (Hey CTV wardrobe people!) wear the same ugly tweed blazer everyday. It’s hard not to smell the 1970s right through my TV screen.
44) The airport can shut down for 3 days for construction—where on else would this ever happen?!?
45) Condo development (old Bay bldg downtown Stoon) takes three years and they’re STILL not finished it!
46) NDP Opposition gets press coverage for complaining that the new Sask Party government isn’t doing anything.
47) The province has no incentive for people to stay here yet everyone wonders why there’s a brain drain.
48) No infrastructure development to suggest that anything has changed economically in this province in the last ten years.
49) People think province “HAVE” status means something.
50) I have to live here for now!

Music for Saskatchewan

2008-07-07T22:51:00.000-07:00

Saskatchewan

(Meant to be sung to the melody of “Rockstar” by Nickelback)

I’m through with idling in line
For Timmy's drive through window
It’s like endless time
With no Timbits to go
This life hasn’t turned out
But I don’t know what else to be

I want to pay more rent
For the same shitty hole
And a bathroom someone once got stabbed in
And a king sized gut enough
For ten big macs

I’ll need a 06 sunfire that’s got 200k
And some big black dice for my rearview mirror
Gonna go to Canadian Tire
And buy a flared clip-on tailpipe

I want to go to Regina and pay eighty bucks
To see the Rider’s lose ‘cause they really do suck
And then bitch about the refs
As though they lost the game for the green

I’d never trade this life for fortune and fame
I’ll never leave this province because I’m scared of change

[CHORUS]

‘Cause we all just wanna be Tommy Douglas
and live on Spadina Crescent driving two Sunfires
The girls come easy and the Pil’ comes cheap
We’ll all stay fat from all the candy we eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
Like the BP lounge with the drunk bar stars
Every good prairie girl’s
Gonna wind up there
Every muffin top
With black roots and blonde hair
Then we’ll do donuts around MidTown Plaza
And wonder why Diva’s has only guys going there
We’ll talk about the Rider’s as though someone cares
Everybody’s got Vern’s Pizza on speed dial

Hey, hey I’m Saskatchewan
Hey, hey I’m Saskatchewan

Saskatchewan Takes Prize for Most Dangerous Place to Live

2008-03-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

More proof this week that Saskatchewan is indeed a HAVE province--we HAVE the highest violent crime rates in Canada!

Macleans Magazine ranked Regina and Saskatoon FIRST and SECOND place when it comes to violent crimes in Canadian cities.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/saskatchewan/story/2008/03/13/miffed-mcleans.html

"Regina has been ranked the "most dangerous" city in Canada, with
Saskatoon a close second, by the national news magazine, Maclean's.
Using 2006 data from the Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics,
Maclean's based its ranking on tabulated results for six crimes — murder,
sexual assault, aggravated assault, robbery, auto theft, and breaking and
entering."

Saskatchewan - Just for Laughs

2008-03-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

I think I saw this guy (Jeremy Hotz) on a local Crimestoppers commercial. They want him for the charge of “crimes against Tommy.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsrJ-bQVINM

Saskatchewan License Plates

2008-03-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

If you think I am alone in my bitterness, here’s proof that there at least TWO people out there who have low opinion of this province… and one of them is pretty good with Photoshop.

“Spring” in Saskatchewan

2008-02-29T08:15:00.000-08:00

I hate this time of year. While the rest of Canada is frolicking in flower blossoms and having tulip throwing wars, we here in Saskatchewan get to slog through two more months of winter. The worst part is when we get days like this week when the temperature rises up and things start to melt. The roads become brown lakes, the sidewalks become mud, and it is impossible to keep your clothes or car clean if you leave your house. I can also tell that spring is near as all the dog shit on the sidewalks that dog owners have neglected to pick up over the last five months begins to thaw. Stepping in that thawed pooh is real TREAT that you can only get here. I also love how during the day, melting causes everything to liquefy yet at night it all freezes again, creating roads about as smooth as Bryan Adam’s cheek. Driving around on that bumpy mess makes me feel like my car has hydraulics and cranking up some snoop on my stereo. I wish some Saskatchewan person would show me how to drive on that stuff without all my fillings falling out. Surely they have found a way to drive on it without spilling their precious Tim Horton’s double double.

The 10 Holy Commandments for Saskatchewan Drivers

2008-02-28T21:23:00.000-08:00

Saskatchewan drivers are the absolute worse of all the provinces. I am reminded of this every time I step into my car and drive anywhere in this flattened hell-plateau. I have compiled a holy list of the ten Saskatchewan driving commandments so you too can become a crappy Saskatchewan driver. Just follow these 10 easy rules!

#1
Buy a Pontiac Sunfire. This is the official pace car of Saskatchewan so drive it proud (that is, before it falls apart). If you can’t afford one of these Oshawa beauties, be sure to get a Chev Cavalier, an older Chevette or better yet, Hyundai Pony or Excel.

#2
Drive at least 10 km/hr below the speed limit at all times. Who’d want to miss all that beautiful flat scenery anyways?

#3
When approaching a four way stop intersection, always let the other driver go first, regardless of when you got there or their position in proximity to your Sunfire. The golden rule here is: the most Saskatchewan person will ALWAYS wave the other driver to proceed first. Don’t stand out from the socialist horde but instead, BE LIKE TOMMY!

#4
Accessorize your care according to Saskatchewan protocols. This means getting seat covers (preferably zebra or leopard skin print), fuzzy dice, a vanilla air freshener, and FILTHY DUST to decorate the insides of your Sunfire in the Saskatchewan style.

#5
If you MUST merge or change lanes, you have to do this precisely one kilometer in advance of where you need to actually do this. Again, think “WHAT WOULD TOMMY DO?”

#6
Never turn left if you can see a car coming. Sask drivers have no depth perception because if they can see the outline of an approaching car as they turn left at an intersection, they will not turn until the horizon is clear. You don’t want to risk the chance of somehow offending the oncoming car. It might be your Mennonite baba.

#7
If you see a pedestrian, STOP RIGHT THERE AND NOW and let the pedestrian cross the road UNLESS that pedestrian is standing at a crosswalk, which means do not stop. Instead, drive on and wave to the pedestrian and smile. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen this happen… but I think it is related to the four-way stop etiquette.

#8
Never honk your horn. Horns are only to be used for getting your friend’s attention at wheat field parties, not while you are actually driving.

#9
Never, ever, ever change lanes. If you are behind someone turning, you must never go around them. To do so would be like saying I am better than you which is akin to blasphemy in Saskatchewan.

#10
This is the most important rule of all: DRIVE EVERYWHERE. To be Saskatchewan means to avoid physical exercise at all cost and to drive everywhere. Never walk anywhere since this will entail physical exercise. Saskatchewaners are among the fattest in Canada so wear that flab proudly and always be sure to drive to Superstore to get those extra big bags of Lay’s chips. Besides, walking or taking the bus means you are poor—only society’s affluent can afford to drive a Sunfire.

Saskatchewan: Home of Anti-Semitism

2008-02-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

Well, more loud reminders this week that anti-Semitism is alive and well in Saskatchewan. Sure, anti-Semites are everywhere but only HERE in Saskatchewan will you find ones still publicly proud to say so and willing to righteously defend their actions. And the latest one was as university instructor to boot!
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/saskatchewan/story/2008/01/28/tremaine.html
Just when one didn’t have enough reasons to hate living in this province we can now add “home of the proud anti-Semites” to our name.

And to make things worse, the David Ahenakew story isn’t going away anytime soon either—a new trial was ordered for him for his oh-so-memorable comments made a few years ago about the Holocaust.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/saskatchewan/story/2008/02/01/ahenakew-retrial.html
Doug Christie should set up shop here since he’ll have enough clientele for life.

Ghandi? WTF?

2008-02-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

In case you are like me you can’t help but wonder why the hell there’s a Ghandi statue downtown. And it’s a great big one too. Scares little children and old ladies. What does Ghandi have to do with Saskatoon? Maybe he came here once just to see how much better life is in India under colonial rule than here. He probably went back home and said, “Boy, am I glad I don’t live in that shithole province Saskatchewan! Let’s all go sit down and talk about how shitty it is there.” Then again, I bet that some idiot in City Hall bought it thinking it was a statue of Junior from the Sopranos. Too bad it’s not. It’d make more sense to me. It would symbolize that you’d have to be old and insane to want to live here.

Pay more to live in the same shithole!

2008-01-31T17:12:00.000-08:00

Why has the cost of housing gone up so much in this city? The price of houses has doubled in the past few years but no other signs of prosperity otherwise. … no new stores, no BMWs clogging the streets, no new companies investing here. Just more expensive homes, suburban sprawl on the outskirts of the city, and more Walmarts. Not what I’d call REAL signs of wealth. People are just as poor here as ever so someone please tell me: where is the money driving up the price of real estate coming from? Are all the farmers selling their combines on Ebay and moving into town to be closer to Walmart? And better yet, why hasn’t the government done anything about rent controls? What a bloody joke! The land of socialism and they can’t even pass a tenancy act that protects people from getting evicted from $250 a month rent increases….

My Riverfront Landing Rant

2008-01-29T17:09:00.000-08:00

In any other city, the riverfront landing area would have been developed ten years ago and the money garnered used to pay for much needed infrastructure development. The land is located right downtown, it's on prime waterfront, and it's worth a fortune. But oh, how I overestimate this place. Here, they wait until the last couple years to start development (okay great, the land is worth more now… ka-CHING!)…. but then what do they do? Put in two theatres and turn the rest into park. They should have sold this prime real estate to developers and put in some high rises and MADE SOME MONEY… maybe even build some condos to alleviate the rental housing shortage. Hell they could have built some low income apartments there with partial proceeds. How on earth they managed to think up the idea of putting the Galaxy theatre where they did is beyond me. They might as well have put a fricking Walmart in there. Then again, they probably tried.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re going to say: big buildings aren’t as pretty as parks. Well, no one seems to notice that there already ARE huge parks on each side of the riverfront property AND across the river. But what about the theatre you say? What about the local arts scene? Well in case you’ve never been to a theatre, it involves being INSIDE so it doesn’t really matter where it is. Call me crazy but it’s a little hard to enjoy the riverfront view when you’re looking at a stage or screen, surrounded by concrete walls. The fact is: the land could have been better utilized. PERIOD.

City Hall does nothing but bitch about how little money they have… Gee, I wonder why? Maybe it’s because they don’t know a damn thing about urban planning and development. They think that the only place to get money is to nickel and dime residents to death. They missed the boat on this one folks. I hope everyone enjoys the kiddie waterpark but do try to ignore the crater sized potholes, no parking spaces, and crumbling streets on the way there.

Kent Austin Screws Saskatchewan AGAIN!

2008-01-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

So Mr Austin is leaving south for the good life in the NCAA…. Someone please tell me why everyone is NOT upset over this? I saw people wishing him luck on TV when they heard the news. Don’t people remember that this is the SECOND time Austin screwed the Riders fans over? This guy is like one of those dapper old men who comes into a retirement home, bangs all the old ladies, and leaves the next day with all their money. Well, Austin never fooled me, probably because I HATED the Riders when he did it the first time as their QB and I HATE them still today. And not just because Eric Tillman looks like a Chiapet... or one of those brushes you clean your shoes with before hitting the curling rink. Probably that’s how he got the GM job here. People liked him a lot but couldn’t quite explain why…. But I digress..... I thought Saskatchewan people knew their history. Apparently not! I suppose that this means that if I come back to Saskatchewan in twenty years’ time people will remember me as the person who invented the internet.

RECALL WALL’s SIDEBURNS!

2008-01-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

Am I seeing things? Did Brad Wall grow back his sideburns? Jesus Christ, I thought he got rid of them once and for all for the election. Probably why he got elected. Now they’re back? This is worse than an unkept election promise. Who does he think he is? Jason Priestly from 90210? Hey Brad: you’re an adult now and it’s time to let it go. The other premiers are already laughing at you for your goofy pin stripe gangster suits. Don’t feed the flames!

Privatize SaskTransit NOW!

2008-01-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

I am not a proponent of privatization as a general rule but Sask Transit should be privatized NOW. It’s the only way to remedy what is possibly the worst run crown corporation I have ever seen.

The busses are empty all the time, the busses are old and dilapidated, and they run so infrequently the service is a joke. They jack up the prices by more than anywhere else I have seen at one time. And what the hell do they put in those bus cushions? Don Acheson’s back hair? God those seats are uncomfortable. I swear Sask Transit doesn’t want you to ride the bus. The downtown bus exchange is the poorest and most dangerous one I have ever seen—it’s like dodgeball trying to catch a bus but not get run over! The company can’t even sell advertising on the busses to companies. Last time I rode the bus, they had one company with the same advertisement plastered about ten times in the inside of the bus. And there was space for other advertisers still left! Plus, the other signs inside the busses—there’s about a million telling riders what to NOT do, like crucial things like don’t spit sunflower shells in the bus—look like they were written by a fifth grader and are full of typos and grammatical errors.

I can tell this is a horrible company to work for too. Most drivers are a miserable bunch of unhelpful bastards. Drivers don’t stop for you and will often hassle people over anything no matter how small. They won’t wait for you if you want on and they’re about to leave. I’ve seen drivers yelling at pedestrians crossing the street, pedestrians who have the right of way! The bus driver didn’t bother to see if anyone was crossing the street before making a left turn and then blamed a pedestrian for his own ignorance. One time I saw a bus miss a turn and try to back up in the middle of the street… he drove right into a car behind him. These transit drivers are a bloody hazard! Don’t believe me? Last year transit drivers made the news when one driver ran over someone downtown and another was involved in a major collision on Clarence. I guess these guys missed the part of driving lesson where they tell you to check both ways before stepping on the gas.

Sask Transit management should visit ANY other metropolitan center in Canada to see how public transit should be run.

Why I hate Saskatoon

2008-01-27T09:41:00.000-08:00

People in Saskatoon seem to think that their city is better than Regina. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black--Saskatoon easily is as bit a shithole as Regina. Here's why:

1) Everyone drives slower than the retired.
2) Clueless drivers that don’t respect pedestrians, crosswalks, and even traffic lights.
3) Downtown has no real attractions and is dead… all the time.
4) No downtown nightlife.
5) People think Tim Hortons has “good” coffee.
6) They elect people like MP Maurice Vellacot…. year in year out. And then complain about the conservatism of Sask Party MLAs.
7) Home to some of the highest crime rates in Canada.
8) Maybe 3 good restaurants in a sized city that should have 20-30.
9) Can’t sustain a downtown grocery store open but can keep 3 Walmarts PACKED.
10) No gas stations (sorry, the 20th and Idylewild one doesn’t count).
11) There are no public beaches in a city with a river running through it.
12) River swimming is not allowed, due to hydrophobia than actual danger.
13) Road construction projects take weeks, sometimes months, to undertake… where in other cities it would take days.
14) No sidewalks on the busiest part of Circle Drive North.
15) People are incredibly poor tippers… when they tip at all.
16) Pubs and restaurants never cut off or give the boot to drunk patrons… they are allowed to cause as much trouble as they like.
17) Has the slowest service in restaurants anywhere.
18) Frumpily dressed people everywhere.
19) No tourism industry whatsoever.... seeing a Manitoba license plate is even rare.
20) Drop in medical clinics are always backed up and you can wait 2-3 hours to see a doctor in the “Home of Healthcare.”
21) Few signs that private entrepreneurship is encouraged.
22) Excess TV time devoted to farm and crop reports when agriculture makes up less than 10% of the provincial economy.
23) Newscasts devoid of any real newsworthy content.
24) Newscasters dress and look like 80s prom nightmares.
25) Some city streets aren’t swept to clean up road dirt in the spring until… summer.
26) Crappy, expensive to ride public transit system that shuts down too early/runs too infrequently.
27) People frown on public transit as ‘for the poor people who can’t afford a car.”
28) Junk Pontiac Sunfires…. everywhere.
29) No signs of logical civic planning… i.e. they let large lots of downtown real estate sit unused for years (i.e. the old King George Hotel and put a big ugly movie theatre on prime downtown near-waterfront property.
30) The WORST public bus system EVER – people think the bus is for poor people.
31) When the city bus drivers aren’t busy driving over people, they are just plain rude.
32) Crappy roads and potholes that go without repair.
33) Unsynchronized traffic lights on main roads in the city.
34) No bike lanes anywhere…. even though the city has one of the highest number of bike commuters in Canada.
35) Crappy, apathetic service at oh so many retail shops.
36) They can’t think of a better name for historical Victoria Bridge than to call it the “Traffic Bridge.”
37) Poor city planning i.e. traffic lights, crosswalks in poor locations.
38) Insufficient number of garbage cans and maintenance in main areas….as a result, street festivals (i.e. The Fringe) are garbagefests.
39) Overweight people everywhere… and junk food/candy vending machines galore.
40) Drunk driving seems acceptable to many, and the police never have roadblocks to stop them either.
41) You have to pay to park in the Midtown Mall lot… they charge you to go to the mall to spend your money.
42) the malls SUCK—people think the Gap is high end fashion.
43) Native culture is seen as a problem and not celebrated as in other parts of Canada.
44) There is public support for a lobby group sympathetic to the cops that killed Stonechild.
45) Few boutique shops… instead, tons of big ugly box stores.
46) The Star Phoenix is a rag.
47) You can count the number of ethnic food import shops on one hand… sorry, Cheese Warehouse just doesn’t cut it.
48) No specialty wine shops… and shitty liquor store selection.
49) Road lines always need repainting.
50) No rent controls for the home of socialism.
51) People don’t pick up after their dogs—spring should be called shit melt.
52) They charge people to get a pet license for their cats and dogs but never enforce it.
53) All the city firework displays (Canada Day, the Ex) are incredibly lame.
54) City Hall does nothing about the 20th St. problem.
55) The mayor is stupid enough to make racist comments in front of Indians at the First Nations University… and still gets elected by a landslide.

Yes, I am MOVING out of province!